Movie Review: Dining With The Devil - A Satiric Look at Basic Instinct 2 - Page 3

I gave directions, and we jumped into traffic.

“So,” she said, smirking as she stared out into the city. “You didn’t like my movie.”

“No, I didn’t like the second movie.”

“I loved it!” she exclaimed, her body language dismissive of anyone who might disagree.

“Of course, you did. It brought you back to life. But – again, why wasn’t there an effort to try and turn this into a classy serial? Why was it made like some Hollywood assembly-line sequel to something Jackie Chan would star in?”

“Hmmm. Jackie Chan,” she said, smiling at her thoughts before lighting up again.

“Ms. Trammel! Really – if you want to have this conversation . . .”

She turned back to me, and an animal seemed to emerge from her tranquil façade. “I think we’ve established that you didn’t like the title! Anything else more substantial, you cock-sucking moron?”

“Okay...Joe Eszterhas. He created you; he created that movie – why wasn’t he brought in to write another original script? Basic Instinct 2 was just a rehash of the first one — only this time, they had British accents!”

“Joe...sweet Joe,” she purred, and her face broke out into a knowing smile, as if she were sharing a private joke with herself.

“I think I must have been a wet dream of his. But, you know, he’s moved back to Cleveland and stopped smoking, and he’s ever the family man. I don’t think he was up to it – if you know what I mean.”

“Well, they couldn’t have paid him enough to write the sequel,” I said, snorting my disapproval. “Apparently, your producers thought the better idea was to get the writer/director team of Venus Rising – you know, that blockbuster starring Morgan Fairchild...”

“Hey – don’t knock Henry Bean! He wrote Internal Affairs; and what have you written — a blog?” she sneered, dragging another puff from her spicy smelling tobacco stick.

“Again – Venus Rising – one of the worst movies made since Plan 9 from Outer Space...”

“And Leora Barish – she wrote Desperately Seeking Susan!”

“Thanks, Leora,” I said sarcastically. “Thanks for starting Madonna’s movie career.”

“So, what smart ass remark do you have for my director, Michael Caton-Jones? Hmmm? Director of City by the Sea, The Jackal, Rob Roy?”

Article Author: Queer Texan

Queer Texan sees the world differently than most, or at least differently than most in Texas. Regardless of whether he's right or wrong, most agree: he definitely "ain't no steer."

Visit Queer Texan's author page — Queer Texan's Blog