Movie Review: Colic

The next time you're about to ferociously throttle that obnoxious baby sitting behind you at a screening of the latest theatrical horror release, ask yourself this important question: Why is this child crying so uncontrollably? Is it because the mother is a worthless welfare-collecting skank who doesn't have a single clue as to how she should raise her child? Are those uncooked popcorn kernel upsetting its tiny stomach? Or maybe, just maybe, there's a vengeful supernatural entity lurking over its right shoulder who would love nothing more than to toss that noisy little sucker into the nearest meat grinder post-haste. It's something you should consider before punching both of them square in the face for spoiling an otherwise pleasant evening at the cineplex.

Thai director Patchanon Thammajira takes this annoying premise — specifically, a squalling child who just won't shut its mouth — and turns it into something a bit more sinister than your everyday case of Bratty Baby Syndrome. His creepy 2006 horror release Colic transforms every responsible parent's worst nightmare into a mildly frightening cinematic excursion that will leave you questioning why most babies cry in the first place. Unfortunately for Thammajira, his genre flick never lives up to the spine-tingling poster that's been floating around various horror-related websites over the past few months. After all, when you have an innocent baby sitting next to a bloody blender, you expect to see a deliciously disturbing toddler smoothie in the finished product.

Wonky dream sequences, I'm afraid, don't count towards course credit. Don't blame me — I don't make the rules.

After an unplanned pregnancy forces Phrae (Pimpan Chalaikupp) and Prong (VittayaWasukraipaisan) to take a drastic step forward with their slightly dysfunctional relationship, the recently-married couple pack up all their meager belongings and move in with his elderly mother on the outskirts of the city. Wedded bliss soon turns to complete agony, however, when their newborn baby boy simply won't stop crying despite the best efforts of his concerned parental units. Though the doctors claim its just an ordinary case of colic, Phrae and Prong begin to wonder if there's something else causing their offspring to wail morning, noon and night.

Article Author: T. Rigney

T. Rigney was specifically designed for the mass consumption of B-grade cinema from around the world. His roughly translated thoughts and feelings can be found lurking suspiciously at The Film Fiend, Fatally Yours, and Film Threat. …

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