Sadly, I have a job. I say sadly because it's a dull job. Of course, it's better than no job. But all things considered, I would rather still get the money and sit at home all day.
My job involves producing guides to healthcare. Often, we have to find case studies for our guides. One afternoon, we were looking for a case study of someone with mental health problems.
My colleague, cheerily, volunteered. "I have mental health problems!" she exclaimed. "Really," I said, sceptically. "What problem do you have?" "COD," she replied. "Hmmm... yes," I said, "I think you mean OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Do you also have dyslexia?"
The ironic thing is that, unbeknown to my colleagues, I actually do have OCD. And anxiety. And panic attacks. In fact, I have pretty much any anxiety problem going. Oh, wait, with the exception of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But I think, with a little work, I could develop that - not least since my psychiatrist reminded me I had once been in a building that collapsed.
Be clear: anxiety is a very annoying thing to have. So's OCD. It means that lots of simple things become a big deal. And although, deep down, you know that you're being stupid, it's difficult to laugh at the situation.
Thank God, then, for What About Bob? and Monk.
I first saw What About Bob? ten years ago. In a nifty piece of scheduling that no TV network here in the UK has managed to repeat since, the film was on when I was very nervous - the night before I received some important exam results.
The film tells the story of Bob Wiley - played by Bill Murray, here in his goofy comic persona rather than the more serious persona seen in Groundhog Day and Lost in Translation) - a multi-phobic, OCDish, anxious kind of a guy. Coping with day-to-day life is proving virtually impossible, and previous psychiatrists - and his wife - have deserted him.
He gets referred to Dr Leo Marvin (played by Richard Dreyfuss in one of the 50% of his roles in which he manages not to annoy me), a man more tied up with his new book than with helping patients. He's also a man about to go on holiday - an idea unthinkable to our buddy Bob, who needs constant support to avoid the mental health minefields that confront him at every turn.