Joh Fredersen goes to the only actual house in Metropolis to speak to a mad scientist that created all the machines that the city relies on sweaty dullards to run. Sometime in the past the Telsaesque Dr. Rotwang’s and Joh Fredersen had the same babe named Hel (I wondered if she was a relative of my second wife, Pure Hell.) who died giving birth to Joh’s son Freder. Dr. Rotwang, who is now making robots to take over for the workers, has made a robot to replicate his deceased ex-love, the slut Hel. Joh needs the mad doctor to decipher a worker’s note about the meeting in the catacombs of Metropolis. They then set off to spy on the meeting where Joh devises a plan to make the Hel robot look like Maria and instigate a striker’s riot, so Joh can put it down by force. Joh orders the mad scientist to kidnap Maria to turn her into a Trojan Union Steward. In the crowd is young smitten Freder listening to Maria. Dr. Rotwang notices Freder and hiding the fact from Joh, he agrees to Joh’s demands to exact revenge for Hel by allowing Joh to help destroy his own son.
In a scene that would make Andrew Sullivan blush, young struggling gay Freder finds Maria surrounded by crosses and sweaty men. Maria the Baptist is telling them that a mediator will come to deliver them from their hardship. Freder is converted and falls to his knees in prayer during her sermon. Then she tells a story about the Tower of Babel that makes no sense whatsoever, filler I suspect. Maria tells him that he is the appointed one and arranges to meet him later at the Cathedral above ground. Meanwhile Dr. Rotwang captures the tiny-lipped Maria. Her lips are so small she makes Julia Roberts look like Daffy Duck.
Not finding Maria at the Cathedral Freder goes to meet this night’s meat at the love shack of Block 99, house 7, seventh floor penthouse, Potemkin Gardens of Metropolis. Worker 11811 does an all-nighter at Yoshiwari stuffing Freder’s sweaty wads of dollars in the garters of strippers and is caught by Joh Fredersen’s well-groomed secret agent, the Thin Man. Freder leaves Josaphat at the love shack to look for Maria. Josaphat is ambushed by the Thin Man, whom I suspect thinks his job is to pay off Josaphat to leave Metropolis and his lover the young Freder. Freder now has time to think about messiahhood and his shaky faggotry as he walks the city looking for Maria. Suddenly he hears her screaming, as he just so happens to be walking past the only house in the city, Dr. Rotwang’s.
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