But for Academy members who may stumble on this page, I have three suggestions that can make awards night a little more interesting.
1. A Michael Clayton sweep. Isn't No Country for Old Men winning everything getting old? And are you really going to give an Oscar to a film that has a hoity-toity critics following like There Will Be Blood? Clayton is the great, socially conscious film you always wanted to give Best Picture to, but have never found the time to honor. While we're at it, give the entire cast their due by giving each of the Clayton acting nominees (George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, and Tom Wilkinson) awards, too. There's always Best Director for No Country for Old Men.
2. A wild Best Original Screenplay pick. Now, I know the old people voting aren't really down for giving Juno screenwriter and former stripper Diablo Cody the Oscar. Most of you are thinking, “Okay, I'll vote for Michael Clayton.” Well, my friends, consider the shock on people's faces when you give Tamara Jenkins the Oscar for The Savages screenplay. (And the millions of people watching will all exclaim, “What the hell is The Savages?”) What about the delight in awarding the year's most under-appreciated film Ratatouille with a major award? Or you can give the Oscar to Lars and the Real Girl's Nancy Oliver for successfully writing a human-sized sex doll story that a grandmother can watch with her grandchildren. Just let's everyone agree on one.
3. Four words: Best Actress Ellen Page. Even the most hopeful person isn't really expecting Page to take the Oscar for her magnificent work in Juno. If Christie doesn't win, most are kind of expecting Marion Cotillard to take the trophy for La Vie En Rose. Send a shout out to Gen-X and the Millenials by giving Page the Oscar. You might as well, they are probably going to pick your next president (cough...Obama...cough).
Of course, the most interesting thing you can do is try and put on an awards show during a writers strike. When none of the actors show up, please consider me as a possible seat filler. I imagine you are going to need thousands of those. And don't worry, I'll pay for my own plane ticket.
The 80th Annual Academy Awards air February 24 at 8 p.m. on ABC.
Article comments
1 - David Begdorf
Nice article. I have another Oscar suggestion: Give Daniel Day Lewis Best Actor and Supporting!
It might lead to him anouncing his bid for president... for evidence look here.
2 - William Perice
The oscars are over rated and the system is corrupt in my opinion. Someone gets paid to get their place and on and on it goes.