I stole another movie from the loser video rental place in town. Snooky is on another bourbon bender, and I’ve learned the painful way ‘tis better to leave her until she sleeps it off. More of Snooky’s embarrassing antics can be found at http://www.sendbobtomars.com Anyway, I got that movie “Magnolias.”
The hype alone made me want to see “Magnolias”. I, as part of the elite movie-viewing public have finally accepted the fact that if a movie is promoted enough on TV, radio, newspapers, web, graffiti, blogs and shaved in sheep (my personal favorite), we have no choice but to fork over our hard-earned allowance money and see the film. Magnolias is such a movie. Oh, I’ve seen the hype…and all I can say is: FRAUDULENT!
The trailer features such prominent actors as Tom Cruise and some guy in a hospital, and…er, that guy with the big nose. But when I finally inserted the movie into my Betamax, it was nothing but chicks! Julia Roberts, Dolly Parton, Darryl Hannah, Shirley MacClaine, and that chick with the huge nose. Oh…and that tiny, whiny brunette from “Smokey and the Bandit.”
I forced myself to watch it, and the sheer boredom made me want to gouge out my eyes with sheep hoofs. The plot consists of a bunch of women sitting around some hair salon talking about picnics and rotten husbands until finally Julia Roberts gets so frustrated with it all that she has a seizure and dies, and then everybody laughs and has a picnic and an Easter bunny drives up on a motorcycle and drives somebody somewhere.
But…you know, “chick flicks” aren’t all bad, if you sit and think about it, which I do frequently. Julia Roberts, for instance. Oh, sure she may have a mouth like a horse and a laugh like a hyena on crack, but she’s rich and female, which pretty much satisfies all three of my requirements for eternal love and happiness.
Article comments
1 - Jewels
Well I was bored... until I found some of these 'Bob' posts! Hey Bob you still out there buddy? Real Fun, Real not boring - best review I've read yet on S'Magnolias. Like your other blogs too, geez too bad they're from 2004; guess I found you a bit late! ;-)