I get many e-mails on a fairly regular basis. Improbably, some are actually not spam (strange but true). The following is not an e-mail I ever received.
Dear Mr. Lasser,
Some say that you're addicted to British car shows, love a good English fry up, and that your encyclopedic knowledge of motor vehicles is second only to your knowledge of Hummel figurines. All we know is that you failed to write a piece discussing the season premiere of Top Gear and the alleged unmasking of The Stig. What happened?
Your Own Imagination
Dear Your Own,
Thank you so much for writing. As you accurately pointed out, I do in fact love a good English fry up – there's just something about it, perchance it's the beans, that hits the spot. As for Hummels, I can't say that I have any idea what a Hummel figurine is – only that Mark Greene's mother collected them back in the day, so you're probably right on that score too. As for the latest episode of Top Gear, the season premiere, I did in fact hope to get an article published more quickly, but much like Michael Schumacher in the Suzuki Liana, I often feel like I'm going backwards, not forwards.
Speaking of Schumacher – which I gather, Your Own, is what you wanted me to do – on the season premiere of Top Gear, Michael Schumacher revealed himself to be The Stig. Revealing the show's tame racing driver was something that the folks on Top Gear had promised the viewing audience, but speculation runs rampant about whether or not Schumacher – who certainly appeared in The Stig's garb and doffed the helmet – is the one and only… if there is in fact only one.
I would like to put forth the argument that there is in fact only one Stig, except for "Black Stig" (so named because of his suit color) who was originally thought dead following driving a Jaguar XJS off the HMS Invincible at 109mph, but reemerged from the sea several years later. Yes, some would argue that many different individuals have worn The Stig's outfit, but I'd like to think that if that's true The Stig's suit has some sort of special, magical power, a power that allows The Stig persona to take over the body of whomever dons the suit – like Venom from Spider-Man.