Despite my love for him, I think I’ll be rooting for Jack Bauer to die tonight.
This season 24 has felt 24 years long rather than the usual 24 hours. Tony is good; Tony is bad; Tony is good again; Tony is bad again. I can't keep up. What happened to all that stuff about Africa? Jack has a zillion to one against him virus right now, which means that he might actually be as high as 5% to actually die, tonight. Add on that head butt protecting Brooke Shields, and we’re up to 10%.
Jack and his torture are too uncomfortable for us to deal with these days. Barack Obama would never torture people; he’d just hang out with them long enough to make them truly love America.
I want to make this clear: I'm against torture in the real world. On television, I'm totally for it. I love seeing Jack torture people. He even tortured his own brother once! I love the fact that Jack always has a different way to torture people. He never gives a repeat performance, and he usually makes good use of his surroundings to invent new and interesting ways of making people feel the maximum amount of pain without passing out.
I’d give in and talk about a second after Jack yelled at me in that Jack Bauer, voice of God tone of his.
24 went and hired Janeane Garofalo this year just so they could mock and degrade her and her views. How much do we have to pay you to debase everything you are and believe in? $20,000 an episode sounds about right. Nice job, Janeane.
Would I appear on 24 and betray my moral code? Sure, I would, but Janeane should have a lot more options than I do. She’s a friend of Ben Stiller, who is not nearly as cool as he thinks he is.
Next season they can hire Al Franken, and see if he buckles under the pressure.
The left needs some heroes that can kick some ass. All the ass kickers are Republicans. Arnold, Bruce, Jack Bauer. The best we have is Jesse Ventura and that's pretty low rent. How about Bruce Lee? I have no idea whether Bruce Lee would have been seen as a liberal or a conservative these days, but neither do you, so I'm claiming Bruce Lee for the Left.
Article comments
1 - Glen Boyd
Damn that was nearly longer than the season dude. But I also have to admit I found a lot of it pretty funny. Speaking of which...
Did anyone besides me notice how much the evil guy with Jack's daughter in the airport looked like R.E.M.'s Peter Buck?
Maybe he's still pissed about getting busted for that drunk tirade on a plane a few years back.
-Glen
2 - Brad Laidman
Does that make Tony, Michael Stipe?
3 - tracey
This season was a bit lame but no where as bad as season 6. That was the worst. Season 5 remains my favorite. Hope season 8 is much better. Hope the new President isn't as lame as this one and no way as boring as Wayne Palmer. They should have a Black or Asian women for President.