I don't watch enough TV. I confess to this character flaw, and I promise to work on it.
But still, I do have my shows. And my shows got nominated for Emmy awards. And they all lost — which, by association, means I'm a loser too. And I'm not too pleased about it.
I'll be the first one to admit that Boston Legal is a severely flawed series. So Candice Bergen didn't win — fine: Anyone wearing that dress didn't deserve to win. But Denny Crane? Denny Crane! The greatest presence on network television since Archie Bunker... losing to Alan Alda's dreary West Wing character? Unbelievable... lock and load.
And why wasn't James Spader even nominated? Doesn't anyone else remember the Shatner/Spader mambo dancing scene — easily the most amazing thing on TV last season? And those brilliant balcony scenes between the two of them? I thought these guys were America's favorite couple... is the honeymoon over already?
As for my beloved Curb Your Enthusiasm: Shafted. Four nominations, zero wins. Sure, The Office is a masterpiece — and it was on the BBC network several years ago. By all means, buy the DVDs. But Curb deserved the Emmy. Or at least Cheryl Hines deserved one instead of that "actress" from the finally cancelled Will & Grace series who couldn't even deliver a coherent acceptance speech.
And that Monk guy from Monk beats Larry David for best actor in a comedy? Is Monk still on the air? Has anyone ever seen it? At least Larry had the presence of mind to stay home last night. And Jeff Garlin wasn't even nominated? That's just a big bowl of wrong, my friends...
And then there was the Manilow incident. I happened to witness the end of his monstrosity of a "variety or music program" on PBS not long ago, during a particularly shameless barrage of pledge drive programming. If they're giving out Emmys for "so incredibly awful you can't avert your eyes from the wreckage" — well, then Barry definitely earned it. Mad props.