The first I heard about Johnny English was merely the premise: Rowan Atkinson, one of the top physical comedians of our time, cast as a bumbling secret agent. I was sold. Whether it be his performances in Mr. Bean, Blackadder or even as the narcoleptic Italian in Rat Race, I’ve always greatly enjoyed Mr. Aktinson’s work. He is a truly gifted comedian with a talent that as of yet, I imagine, has not been fully utilized.
Then I saw the trailer for Johnny English. I was so underwhelmed that I decided to pass on seeing it in theaters. Literally not once did I laugh or even crack a smile during the brief advertising capsule that was supposed to display some of the film’s best moments in order to entice me to pay to see more. It did just the opposite of what it was supposed to do: it got an Atkinson fan already “sold” on the movie to decide not to see it. Now normally I’d criticize the makers of a trailer like that for a shoddy job, but actually I’d like to thank them. If I’d never seen the trailer I surely would have wasted more than just a few bucks on seeing this turkey of a film at my local cinema and been even more disappointed than I am now that I’ve seen Johnny English on DVD.
Poor Rowan. Poor, poor Rowan. His talent is so utterly wasted in this film. At one point Rowan as Johnny English climbs up into a restroom via the septic system and pops out of a toilet covered in poop. Seeing Mr. Atkinson covered in excrement is such a fitting metaphor for this film. The script for Johnny English is so bad that I wouldn’t be surprised to find out a 10-year-old boy had written it. The film begins with Johnny daydreaming about being a top secret agent, foiling foes as if it were no trouble at all. The trouble is, there’s nothing novel or clever about any of it. There was so much potential for clever riffs on James Bond-style “anything I do defeats the bad guys” action, but instead the scene feels like it was written in about two minutes. When two men armed with rifles point them at Johnny’s head, he merely grabs the guns and pushes them into the men, dropping them to the floor. Wow. There are an almost infinite number of clever, funny ways Johnny could have gotten out of the situation involving all sorts of zany gadgets or exaggerated martial arts moves, but no. Seriously, it feels like Little Billy took a break from writing "Family Circus" and decided to bang out a script in one afternoon.
Article comments