There’s little doubt that Connie would be the perfect wife if you could somehow stop her from working 100 hours a week or prevent her from someday moving to Africa to solve the starvation issue. No one has ever been less equipped to spend the rest of their life living in a hut, but my heart tells me that just being with Connie would make it all worthwhile.
There’s an episode called “Strike” where the city is experiencing a legal strike. A judge makes Connie serve as a murder defendant’s defense lawyer, only for the purpose of standing next to him while he pleads either guilty or non-guilty. The defendant is a less than brilliant type, but he takes one look at Connie and essentially decides that hanging with her is much more important than staying out of jail. As defendants on this show do, he somehow finds some arcane judicial ruling on the internet that states that once Connie has acted as his lawyer, she has to continue to be his lawyer until he fires her. For all the defendant knows, Connie got her law license in the Dominican Republic, but like me he knows that spending a week with Connie makes risking ten years in the joint totally worthwhile.
Now clearly, I’ve merely fallen in love with the character that Alana De La Garza plays. It’s entirely possible that if I met her in real life, I’d find that I had little to say to her. It’s conceivable that despite her supermodel good looks, I’d eventually dread being in her company. I’m completely willing to take that chance.
Again, after 20 years new ideas are probably hard to come by. I don’t care. If Connie Rubirosa is sitting behind the table watching some older guy prosecute some random stock boy for jaywalking, I’ll be watching. Sadly, I’ll probably be watching more than once.