Halloween Horror Movie Fest

You tell them not to turn around. You warn them, “Don’t open that!” You think surely they won’t go in there. Then they switch on the light, their face meets the business end of an axe, and you’re left only to shake your head in disappointment.

Why don’t they ever listen?

Give these ill-fated airheads a little credit, though, because it’s not easy playing straight man in the horror genre. It is actually in these peoples’ job descriptions to be harassed by their coworkers all day, then at punch-out time get beheaded via chainsaw by some creep with mommy issues and a penchant for human flesh (thank God there’s no one from human resources in the world of horror cinema). Sadly, for all their dedication and sacrifice, the psycho fodder in scary movies must still be regarded as cinema’s D student. And even when they do survive the carnage, their audience feels let down — no guts, no glory.

On the plus side (and it’s a big one), the well-preserved, cheaply masked, and seemingly impervious gentlemen doing the beheadings gather for an annual work-related convention cut straight from hell: the Halloween horror movie fest. Once a year each autumn, viewers everywhere are besieged by wave after wave of their favorite monsters and mass murdering madmen. On one channel you may find the tenured Jason Voorhees in the midst of his thirteenth bloody chronicle. The very next might feature a new-meat cannibal, fresh out of the starting gate and gearing up to take his shot for a respectable place in the annals of horror cinema. Sure, the odds are a thousand to one against him, but – strangely enough – that’s the point. He must land on his face. He must fail, for if he doesn’t fail, who will?

We all have to laugh at some harebrained lunatic on Old Year’s Night (so-called by the Celtics, as it was the final night in the ancient calendar). The likes of Michael Meyers and Freddy Kruger may be potential targets for ridicule, but icons don’t truly suffice as sources for our mockery. So the two-bit cannibal is just as essential to this holiday as Hannibal Lecter or Romero’s hordes of ravenous corpses.

Article Author: Jon Erbar

My name is Jon Erbar. I am currently a journalism student at the University of Oklahoma. My various interests include reading, writing, going to the theater, exercising, and playing video games. My favorite genres of movies/books are horror and fantasy. …

Visit Jon Erbar's author page — Jon Erbar's Blog