I don't think every movie has to be smart to be brilliant. The last movie I talked about in that vein was Transformers 2, a movie produced by Hasbro, and one that I found loud, silly, almost plotless — and totally awesome.
Well, folks, Hasbro is two for two this summer. I saw G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra last night, and when I went in I just wanted it to do one thing: I wanted it to make me remember why, when I was around 10 or 12 years old, I had to get home in time to watch G.I. Joe. No. Matter. What.
I get detention? I skip it to get home.
Car not working? I run.
Pass a burning bus full of nuns on the way? Sorry, sisters, you gots ta burn.
Because I know that G.I. Joe is coming on. And knowing is half the battle. The other half is watching the show. Point being, I wanted that feeling, that “YO, JOE!” feeling that I used to get.
And I got it for six specific reasons:
- Cool gadgets
- Hearing catchphrases like “knowing is half the battle” and “we got a lotta Joes out there.”
- Snake Eyes
- Snake Eyes
- Snake Eyes
- Snake Eyes
Sure, there were a couple things that didn’t work for me. The little kid from Third Rock From the Sun as Cobra Commander didn’t work for me. Wayans as the stereotypical black funny guy who has his moment to shine after essentially serving as the village idiot for 95% of the movie — meh.
There were a couple of lines that made my eyes roll so far back I was looking at the person in the seat behind mine (sometimes my brain and skull go transparent, allowing me to do that – a neat but creepy party trick).
I also was a little weirded out by the ethno-cultural changes. It used to be “G.I. Joe — a real American Hero” (and if you can’t actually hear the song being sung when you read that, you’re the wrong demographic for this article, dude).
Article comments