For One Idol Hopeful, There's No Place BUT Home
Chapter 8: The Wizard of Odd
By: The Raging Critic
"For nearly three years this story has given faithful service to the Young in Heart; and Time has been powerless to put its kindly philosophy out of fashion. To those of you who have been faithful to it in return...and to the Young in Heart... I dedicate this review."
Yippeeeee. Tonight is a night of pure love and joy. The show had 24 million calls last night - the audience is holding neon colored signs all over the place - and Ryan Seacrest is simply mad about all of the glitter again! Wait a minute???? Wasn't Elton in Vega$ last night???
He introduces the judges and tells America that he is sick and tired of their beading eyes glaring at him across the stage. UM HELLLOOOO! Can we say D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-S of P-E-R-S-E-C-U-T-I-O-N???? Someone please get Ryan a therapist. The last time he got insecure they booted his co-host of the show the following season! Or, that's at least what half of America thinks.
The show gets down and dirty in a jiffy and our hostess with the mostess is interviewing our contestants. John Peter Ingalls Wilder is wearing a t-shirt that says "treasure hunter." Apparently, he is not too confident that he will win this gig, so treasure hunting has become "Plan B." Fantasia is flapping her monstrous mouth all about and tells America that Simon was sleepy last night. Yes Fantasia - and so was half of America after sitting through three snor-ific performances last night!!!! Camile wanted to send daddy birthday wishes. Hopefully, America can send you off with a one-way ticket to Japan tonight and you can tell him face to face!!!!!!!! Opie seems to thing he is one red hot number, while Jasmine and Diana are begging America for pity as they apparently have a really bad case of NERVOUSITIS. LaToya then tells America that she would have no shame singing at weddings. GAAAAASP! My mind then started racing. LATOYA - WILL YOU SING AT MY WEDDING???????
Article comments
1 - HW Saxton Jr.
RC: Is John waters an influence on your
writing? I mean this with the highest of
compliments.
2 - The Raging Critic
In all honesty, most of my writing is not like this - AT ALL!
My true influence is a man by the name of Paul Monette. He wrote a book called "Becoming A Man" which practically changed my life. His spirit lives on as my inspiration.
Now, as for John Waters.....I love him! He is an absolute genius!