Once again, the folks at Legend Films and Rifftrax have put together another collection of misguided educational shorts, toasted to perfection by Mssrs. Michael J. Nelson, Esq., Kevin Murphy, M.D., and Bill Corbett, Pimp Daddy. Should one be unfamiliar with the entire Rifftrax Phenomenon, all one need do is take a look at their tagline: “We don’t make movies — we make fun of them.” Nelson, along with his fellow Mystery Science Theater 3000 alumni, have the unenviable task (well, I find it enviable, actually) of sitting through some of the weirdest and worst motion picture antiquities (and sometimes the brightest and the best — just to keep things fresh). Then, they record their own comical commentary tracks to accompany them. It is, without a doubt, the greatest no-brainer project ever devised.
In the first half of 2009, Rifftrax and Legend Films released a slew of DVDs featuring a shorts and feature length films alike. Well, I’m guessing it must have caught on — since now we’re here with two more (shorts only) releases: Shorts-Tacular Shorts-Stravaganza! and Wide World Of Shorts, many of which had me on the verge of tears (in laughter, mind you) and have achieved that rare place in my memory wherein I need only think of a particular moment and start giggling like the mad fool that I probably am.
Shorts-Tacular Shorts-Stravaganza!
The longest of the two collections (a whopping 2 hours worth) is the goofily-titled Shorts-Tacular Shorts-Stravaganza!, which presents ten vintage instructive featurettes with subject matter ranging from boosting your self-confidence to making damn sure you don’t get VD from a skanky street whore (the professional ones are much cleaner).
• Primary Safety: In The School Building (1955) chronicles the future security guard in the making skills of youngster Bill, who has been assigned by his teacher as the official class safety instructor (complete with two huge “Stop” and “Go” signs) — a mistake Bill’s teacher will be shaking her head over come 3pm.
• Know For Sure (1941) is probably the only short I’ve seen from the Rifftrax vault thus far with an actual star in its cast. Irish character actor J. Carrol Naish plays an Italian grocer (complete with outrageous accent — hey, if you think that’s bad, check out the way he played a Japanese villain in 1943’s The Batman!) who is devastated to learn his newborn son was born stillborn (yes, I could have fit the word “born” in there a few more times if I really tried). Good ol’ syphilis is the subject of this educational short, produced by Hollywood for the Armed Services to prevent the disease from spreading. The original cut of the short included graphic photos of disease-ridden schlongs, but thankfully, this is the post-edited version.
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