Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking by watching this. Nor do I know what I was expecting. No, wait — that’s an outright lie. Just because I’m cheating myself doesn’t mean I need to insult your intelligence as well. I’ll tell you exactly what I was expecting by popping Women’s Extreme Wrestling into the DVD player: jiggling boobies. And bouncing booties, too.
And, while Women’s Extreme Wrestling provides ample amounts of both, I never felt the urge to kneel on the floor and praise whatever force of nature inspired me to put it into my DVD player to begin with.
Women’s Extreme Wrestling is about what you’d expect to find on the USA Network, circa 1995, at three o'clock in the morning. The DVD presents three “episodes” (each running about an hour in length) of girls doing nothing but televised wrestling in front of a small audience of extremely bored men and strangely excited teenagers. It’s not even good wrestling, either. Granted, such as thing as “good wrestling” is the sporting world’s epitome of an oxymoron (hell, is this even a sport?), but Women’s Extreme Wrestling did nothing for me whatsoever: as a sports enthusiast (which I am not) or as a horny guy (which I most certainly am).
Returning to the true nature behind my initial inquisitiveness of Women’s Extreme Wrestling, I again refer to the stars of these programs: women. A few of these sluttishly-attired ladies may, perhaps, encourage a small Southern uprising in a diminutive percentage of men. And then there are the “other” ladies present in these matches. Ladies that make pro-wrestlers like Kane look femme. I have to confess I feel this overwhelming air of apprehension at even referring to these WEW ladies as actually being active members of the female species in the first place. Former UFC personality Ken Shamrock has less testosterone floating throughout his body than some of these girls. Seriously, they’re scary. But they’re also boring, and the sight of them pretend-punching other beefy-T-sized entities in a ring of ropes just really isn’t worth the effort of my good-natured ribbing.