DVD Review: Vampires Suck - Extended Bite Me Edition

Vampires Suck is a Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer film starring Ken Jeong (The Hangover), Jenn Proske, Diedrich Bader, Matt Lanter, and Christopher Riggi in a vampire-romance spoof that takes on the highly popular Twilight film and book series.

The world is already crammed with vampire flicks. Some of the vampire craze resulted in some pretty decent TV shows and movies. Except for this one, a vampire parody, should have been scrapped. Friedberg and Seltzer has cashed in on a widely popular franchise which may be too little too late. In this totally unfunny vampire-romance.

Proske stars as Becca, like Bella in the Twilight movies, as the emotionally anguished teen and does a very good job at exaggerating the Twilight character Bella's nervous facial gestures, lip-biting, and obsessively tucking her hair behind the ears. Becca finds herself torn between the moody and conflicted vampire, Edward (Lanter) who is confused about  who and what he wants. The hairy, well-built werewolf-- and frequently shirtless-- Jacob (Riggi) who confesses his love for Becca, unlike the book and movie Twilight character, who maintained an unrequited love for Bella.

I found most of the movie confusing trying to keep up with all of the puns and references to popular reality stars and celebrities like Lady GaGa, and the kids from the Jersey Shore. Not that it mattered very much, but that was just the few I recognized without having to pause the movie so I could use a shout out to someone who knew more about a particular scene or reference the movie, was making.

The "Bite Me" edition has a host of additional features for your bloody enjoyment. The first are the deleted scenes. "Becca's Teen Angst Mix Extended" showed Becca and her iPod song list as "I'm So Lonely," Nobody Gets Me," and "I'm So Unhappy." She chose "I'm So Lonely" to play while making exaggerated nervous facial gestures while agreeing with these sad lyrics:

I feel so lonely.
Nobody gets me.
I am so unhappy.

Why can't I find a
Cool, alternative boyfriend
Who understands me?

"Crappy Old Truck Parking" was about Becca driving her crappy old truck to school. The parking signs she passed read "Faculty Parking Only," "Vampire Parking Only," and eventually the "Sad, Misunderstood Student with Crappy Old Truck" parking space.

Article Author: aidyspoetry

Aidy is a book, movie and game review writer, avid supporter of indie film and indie artist. Currently working on a degree in creative writing for entertainment and trans-media storytelling.

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