DVD Review: Trilogy of Terror

Chapter 5 Rescue in Monster Land (part 4)Iloz Zoc's Journal

August 29. I must have dozed off somewhere between the twelfth or thirteenth rowing of the boat from shore to shore, and back again. The Werewolf and Man-Chicken were beginning to unsettle my nerves, and Steve Brown's infatuation — nay, consummate preoccupation — with getting his hands on those damnable Twinkies took much of my energy to fend him off. I also was much fatigued by the constant whistling and hubba-hubba behavior from the Werewolf, whose enamoration of Glenor appeared to be boundless and growing.Then it occurred to me. It was a flash of inspiration guided by desperation. We were getting nowhere in our futile attempts at finding the right combination of two persons to travel in the small boat, at one time, without having the Werewolf devour Man-Chicken, Steve Brown devouring the Twinkies, and the Werewolf from satisfying his uncontrollable urges with Glenor.

I realized the locus of our dire situation was the Werewolf. So I clubbed him when he was not looking. But good. I piled his unconscious body into the boat, and rowed him across the moat. I placed his still unconscious body on the ground, whacked him again for good measure, then returned to row Steve Brown across next. With the Werewolf still quite unconscious, I next rowed Glenor across, and finally Man-Chicken. All of us were finally on the castle side of the moat. From this position, the castle loomed ominously above us, high into the darkness. As the full moon waxed and waned between the clouds, crocodiles could be seen gliding silently across the moat's murky and foamy surface, their eyes glistening in the pale light with an eerie luminescence.

"Oh, how could you," said Glenor, nursing the Werewolf's rather large bump where I clubbed him. Twice. "Bit of smart thinking there," said Steve Brown. He could not take his eyes off the box of Twinkies held by Man-Chicken. I raised my club, thinking that perhaps I could put him off his addiction for awhile.

"Aaattttccchcheettteeetteeettee," screamed a loud but strangely shrill voice. Something small, about a foot high, scampered past us. Man-Chicken let out a howl of pain."What the hell is that thing," he yelled, grabbing at his bruised ankle.

"Aaatttccchcheettteeetteeettee," it screamed again. Steve Brown jumped. "Owww! Something stabbed me in the leg!"

"Oh, that reminds me," I said, sticking my foot out tripping the little bugger. It was, of course, an animated Zuni Fetish Warrior doll, much the same as in Dan Curtis' 1975, television movie, Trilogy of Terror. Just as a crocodile yawned wide, I snatched up the little savage and hurled him into the gaping maw before it clamped down. The crocodile swallowed the doll whole, and submerged.

Article Author: ILoz Zoc

Founder of the League of Tana Tea Drinkers (LOTT D), expiring writer of Zombos Closet of Horror Blog, and valet to Zombos, the noted B-movie horror actor (to his few remaining and decaying fans).

Visit ILoz Zoc's author page — ILoz Zoc's Blog