The Rocker doesn't rock. It is, in fact, the cinematic equivalent of poorly conceived elevator music: completely bland, by-the-numbers, and brain-numbing.
Imagine yourself stuck in an elevator for 102 minutes, listening to incompetently arranged muzak, the smell of a lingering fart hanging in the air, and someone has just punched you in the balls for no apparent reason. Congratulations. You've just experienced The Rocker.
It's hard to say after watching The Rocker whether or not The Office's Rainn Wilson can carry a movie. The material he has to work with is so awful that I would defy any actor to come out at the end of this movie not looking like a complete tool. His character, Robert "Fish" Fishman, isn't so much a "character" as he is just a physical being that moves the plot forward, motivation be damned.
In fact, not one of the "characters" in the film really has any sort of depth beyond some sort of stereotype. Seemingly in an effort to prove me right, one of the characters even spells out the cardboard-thin characteristics of the main kids in the band: "the magnetic but tormented lead singer; the awkward, neurotic super-nerd; and the kind of ironic, post-modern punk girl."
In the 1980s, Fish was the drummer for the hard-rocking band Vesuvius, and was kicked out right before the band made it big. Really big. Flash forward to modern times when his nephew is looking for a drummer for his own band for their prom gig. Fish enters the picture and the mostly teen band rockets to stardom after a video leaked into YouTube shows Fish drumming naked. (Ah yes, Rainn Wilson's ass. That's what I wanted to see today and have burned into my retinas like a nuclear blast. Thank you, The Rocker!)
It's like someone had a decent idea for a movie, signed a bunch of good comedic actors, and then left the business of writing, editing, and directing the film to folks who don't give a shit.
Article comments
1 - Ben
It's another of those movies that had an interesting idea that was toned down way too far. It could have been a more personal take on School Of Rock, but it failed. Had the plot been better, I think that Wilson would have been good for the role.