DVD Review: Pre-Halloween Roundup

I know it's not yet October, but I thought we could jump-start the busiest time of the year for home viewing--at least in my house--with a few selections--actually, a record of the movies we watched last Halloween season (all available on DVD; Netflix forever!). So enjoy, kiddies.

Willard (2003) I have nothing new to add here. Yes, Crispin Glover fits the role like a--I was going to indulge in a pun on his last name; I shall let it pass. But it isn't scary. Still, not since Shelly Duvall warbled "Save me, Popeye!" for Robert Altman back in 1980 has an actor found such a home as Glover has in Willard's tense little soul.

White Zombie (1932) Another example of niche casting. As in Edgar G. Ulmer's Freudian fever dream, The Black Cat (1934), Bela Lugosi finds here a non-Dracula opportunity to bring his numb charisma to good use. This also proved an education for my son, who assumed all zombies were of the shambling, flesh-eating variety (Romero-us Ravenous). Inexorably advancing slave zombies with a desperate, trapped look in their eyes processing sugar cane on the side when they're not doing Lugosi's homicidal bidding was another matter.

Them! (1954) This is the first Halloween Special everyone should ride when they're little, an example of mid-budget SF/horror that gets it right. The settings are put to good use, the actors earn their pay, especially James Whitmore and Edmund Gwenn, the plot makes its own internal sense, and the special effects are both quaint and effective (most menacing giant ant puppets EVER!). What sticks with me most, though, are the early desert sequences, before we see the ants. You shouldn't stop watching after they--them?--show up, but you could.

Poltergeist (1982) I always wince a little when I see how blatantly producer Steven Spielberg horned in on director Tobe Hooper's job, but I guess it works out in the end. This is one of those pre-PG-13 PG movies with big, hazy, sloppy boundaries: one could say "Shit" and Mom and Dad could smoke dope and you wouldn't get spanked with an "R." And best of all, you could spread around some real chills; it actually managed to scare my children for once, and that's close enough.

Audrey Rose (1977) I watched it to remind myself what the heck I liked about it. Turns out it was Anthony Hopkins. No big surprise. The rest of this is just plain silly.

Teenagers from Outer Space (1959) We watched a non-Mystery Science Theater version and supplied our own wisecracks, and everything worked out just fine.

Fiend without a Face (1958) The original brain-eating brains movie. The stop-motion animation sequences at the end are both stiff and creepy, as the brains crawl and leap about, latching onto the napes of various necks; by the way, their splattering destruction is nicely mimicked by Tim Burton at the climax of Mars Attacks! (1996)--an unjustifiably disdained movie, by the way. Speaking of the Red Planet …

Invaders from Mars (1953) A beautiful film; the DVD shows both the US and British versions, which end differently. What's important here, though, is the presence of William Cameron Menzies, the director and production designer, whose sets and camerawork are marvels of invention. Even something as simple as the town's police station is presented with a monumental attention to mood, which throughout is dreamlike but lush. Let us not forget he was a production designer for Gone with the Wind. You should watch this one; it's good AND good for you.

Rose Red (2002) A Stephen King miniseries; to say it's about a haunted house is like saying Jaws is about a fish. I'm not comparing quality, though, just quantity. Not to say it wasn't watchable; it features a killer set and good special effects--the mirrored floor that turns to water is only one of many striking moments--and it provides some dependable scares. It's also a bit of a haul, though, and some of the acting is strident--although that is to be expected, given the situation. It does manage to engage us in the history of this Grand Canyon of a spook show.

Mr. Vampire 2 (1986) For once we all agreed: Mr. Vampire (I) is a better movie. Which is saying both lots and nothing. The big draw is the non-Western vampire rules you get in a Hong Kong movie: They hop; they can be stopped with Post-It spells attached to their foreheads; they know kung-fu. And no garlic, but sticky rice. I've told you too much. File this one under "delirious."

Trilogy of Terror (1975) If you have seen this and do not remember Karen Black being chased around her apartment by the Zuni fetish doll, you do not remember anything you’ve ever watched. This one is a triumph of 1970s afternoon TV movies (more on those later). And for all of us heteros who are unrepentantly forever fourteen-year-old boys, Karen Black, like Angie Dickinson (think Dressed to Kill) and Dyan Cannon (in the next entry), generates a special brand of humidity. And OK, while we're peripherally on the subject of sexual preference …

Deathtrap (1982) I always want to see this one with Sleuth (1972). Michael Caine ranting is always horrifying, but in a good way. This movie has aged fairly well, but it steadfastly refuses to take itself seriously, and so it never becomes more than Camp Lite.

Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy (1965) Or, Las Luchadoras Contra la Momia, which sounds so much more, well, Spanish. Mexican, actually. OK, I'll admit it: My daughter and I fast-forwarded through most of this. We did crack wise for a while--there are, you should not be surprised to read, a disproportionate number of men with dark mustaches in this movie, and we managed to make quite a bit of hay about that. The luchadoras are kind of like Charlie’s Angels, but their rescuing and mummy battling are secondary to their luchadora-ing. We decided that the momia is best encountered deep within the pitch-black bowels of its Aztec pyramid, in sequences that would be truly frightening if they weren't so truly completely-opposite-of-frightening. I have promised--and yes, that is the word I used--my daughter to show her a Mexican wrestling men movie someday. They wear gaily patterned masks, you may already know, and are often dubbed to sound surprisingly urbane.

Inhabited (2003) A remake/do-over of yet another '70s afternoon chiller, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (1973), starring Kim (True Grit) Darby. The original was pretty amazing (caveat: as I remember it); this remake is pretty alright itself, albeit a bit less fatalistic, and with a more intricate plot. A reviewer on the Internet Movie Database uses the word "creepy" twice in describing the original; the remake is not so much creepy as startling, with tricky camera movement--sped-up, nervous glimpses of creatures that look like no "little people" another Darby, last name O’Gill, ever saw--and sudden expirations of characters you hoped would make it to the end. I watched this as a curio, but it works on its own as an effective non-R-rated (little) monster movie.

Cronos (1993) Guillermo del Toro's feature-length debut; he has gone on to direct Mimic (1997), The Devil’s Backbone (2001), Blade II (2002), and Hellboy (and is filming Pan's Labyrinthe for a 2006 release). Del Toro is good news: a Mexican horror director, which, if I can indulge in some minor cultural stereotyping, I think gives his films a tone that is laced with a kind of suave hysteria. All of the movies I've noted have arresting moments, breathless sequences, and actual new ideas. Visually, he seems to go for a lurid smokiness that fits the genre, or at least his take on it; Cronos is a vampire movie that I can honestly say spins a twist on this sanguinary subgenre. There’s an ancient device with some kind of beetle living in it which operates the device so that it latches onto you and bites/infects you and turns you into a vampire. Our heroes are an antique-dealing elderly gentleman who unwittingly activates the device and his young granddaughter who becomes his confidante, confederate, and eventual caretaker. Add to this an evil tycoon intent on acquiring the immortality the device brings and his nephew/henchman, played by the always-welcome Ron Perlman--Hellboy, of course (and someone should take note, gingerly, of that cat's mondo weirdo filmography)--and you have a lip-smacking international carnival of the (un)dead.

Brotherhood of Satan (1971) Back to the '70s one last time, and good riddance, for this one was completely plotless, pointless--but compelling, a real live ladle-full of nihilism from the little decade that couldn't. The plot: A couple stumbles into a small town completely dominated by Satan-worshipers, and all the good people lose. The worshiping parts are extended waking dreams, with dim, looming shapes and the low hum of awful destiny; I swear, Humble Readers, the director should've tried filming "Young Goodman Brown," because he really knew how to tell us that everyone will let us down. The unhappiest movie I saw.

28 Days Later (2002) I was ready not to like this, but it proved to be a rip-roarer of a semi-gore-fest (edited too jumpily to be deeply sickening) with hair-raising chases and likable characters and an ending that is--how shall I say it without spoiling it for those who haven't seen it? Ah, atypical, I guess. A respectful nod to George Romero that also strikes out for some of its own territory: one of its virtues is that its monsters are not cannibal zombies, but mere homicidal maniacs. There; don't we all feel better already?

Well, so much for the retrospective. Editing this for a new posting has made me eager to get this year's Monster Rally underway. So I'll fire up Netflix Freak (yet another blessing for the Mac faithful) to stuff my Queue ( now there's an interesting phrase) with a lunar-cycle's-worth of dread-n-doom. I'll keep in touch as my Queasy Cavalcade of Creeps marches toward Halloween.

Article Author: Paul J. Marasa

Born in Philadelphia the year "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and "The Searchers" were released; grew up in NJ, transplanted to the Midwest where I toil in the fields as a writing specialist and instructor at Knox College.

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