Previously on Zombos Closet of Horror:
When last we left the mansion residents, Steve Brown, stalwart and sometimes annoying UPS associate, had discovered that the large bite holes appearing in the closet and pantry were due to an incursion of the 8th dimension (see previous posts). And you thought UPS just delivered packages? Burning questions remain. Where is Pretorious the groundskeeper? Where is the exterminator? Where is the review for Night Watch? We now continue our regularly scheduled blog adventures in the 8th dimension to answer these questions, and more!
ChapTer TwO: Attack of the Shudderites!
"Come again?" said Zombos.
"It was Dr. Lizardo who first discovered the 8th dimension," Steve Brown repeated.
"Didn't I see him on TV?" I asked.
"You're thinking of Mr. Wizard."
"I liked Mr. Wizard," said Zombos.
"Lizardo is a world-renowned scientist," said Steve Brown.
"So is Mr. Wizard," said Zombos.
Glenor Glenda interrupted our important discussion. "You said to remind you that you needed to get out a movie review today," she told me.
Just then, I saw a pair of eyes peering at us from the edge of the hole in the pantry. Two lidless large eyes, just resting by themselves on the edge of the hole. I was dumbfounded. I directed Steve Brown's and Zombos' attention to them with a pointing finger. As we stared at them, they unblinkingly stared back, then slowly separated, traveled the circumference of the large bite hole in opposite directions, then reunited on the opposite side of the hole.
"Yes," said Steve Brown, "definitely Shudderites. That's one of their pets. It's called a Helob. Spiderlike-dog thingy. Kind of playful, really. Hate to be petted, though. Bet he's been the one chewing on your house."
"Shudderites?" I asked.
Steve Brown explained. "They live in the 8th dimension. Nasty bunch of natives. Very opinionated. Must be bash-time."
"What's bash-time?" I asked.
"All the clans get together once a year in a potlatch ceremony in honor of old-time horror movies, and to worship their god, the Ackermonster. They despise the new horror stuff. Due to an old gypsy's curse, the poor bastards and their descendants are forever stuck in the past. They're doomed to perpetually relive it, and revel in Universal Studios Classic Monsters, and B-Movies from the '50s and '60s. They wouldn't be half-bad if they didn't roast non-believers alive during the bash. They usually only pop into this dimension in search of non-believers, for their sacrifices. They can smell them a dimension or two away."
Article comments
1 - Aaron Fleming
Please do let me know if you run into Peter Weller sometime soon, I haven't seen him in a while.
Anyway, good stuff as always, your posts always put me in the mood for a good dose of 80s horror - and I did come across Ghoulies 2 in a VHS-frenzy earlier. As for Nightwatch, tis great fun and an entertaining couple of hours.
2 - Iloz Zoc
Ah, the 80s. I was flipping the dial last night and came across Chuck Russell's The Blob. The gore effects hold up gruesomely well. Hmmm...now that you mentioned Buckaroo himself, I smell a new plot twist coming...Weller was super in that role.
I must see Ghoulies 2. Anything that revolves around a carnival or sideshow always catches my eye.
Thanks for reading!
3 - Aaron Fleming
The Blob remake was great, gimme that over McQueen anytime. And every possible opportunity for making reference to Buckaroo Banzai should be clenched with all one's might, that's my view.
Ghoulies 2 is great, but to be honest it pales in comparison to Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies go to College. Now, that is one of the best comedy horrors ever made!
4 - Iloz Zoc
Okay, I'm sold. I now have 2 Ghoulies movies to catch up on. So many movies, so little time. Damn.