Previously on Zombos Closet of Horror:
When last we left the mansion residents, Steve Brown, stalwart and sometimes annoying UPS associate, had discovered that the large bite holes appearing in the closet and pantry were due to an incursion of the 8th dimension (see previous posts). And you thought UPS just delivered packages? Burning questions remain. Where is Pretorious the groundskeeper? Where is the exterminator? Where is the review for Night Watch? We now continue our regularly scheduled blog adventures in the 8th dimension to answer these questions, and more!
ChapTer TwO: Attack of the Shudderites!
"Come again?" said Zombos.
"It was Dr. Lizardo who first discovered the 8th dimension," Steve Brown repeated.
"Didn't I see him on TV?" I asked.
"You're thinking of Mr. Wizard."
"I liked Mr. Wizard," said Zombos.
"Lizardo is a world-renowned scientist," said Steve Brown.
"So is Mr. Wizard," said Zombos.
Glenor Glenda interrupted our important discussion. "You said to remind you that you needed to get out a movie review today," she told me.
Just then, I saw a pair of eyes peering at us from the edge of the hole in the pantry. Two lidless large eyes, just resting by themselves on the edge of the hole. I was dumbfounded. I directed Steve Brown's and Zombos' attention to them with a pointing finger. As we stared at them, they unblinkingly stared back, then slowly separated, traveled the circumference of the large bite hole in opposite directions, then reunited on the opposite side of the hole.
"Yes," said Steve Brown, "definitely Shudderites. That's one of their pets. It's called a Helob. Spiderlike-dog thingy. Kind of playful, really. Hate to be petted, though. Bet he's been the one chewing on your house."
"Shudderites?" I asked.
Steve Brown explained. "They live in the 8th dimension. Nasty bunch of natives. Very opinionated. Must be bash-time."
"What's bash-time?" I asked.
"All the clans get together once a year in a potlatch ceremony in honor of old-time horror movies, and to worship their god, the Ackermonster. They despise the new horror stuff. Due to an old gypsy's curse, the poor bastards and their descendants are forever stuck in the past. They're doomed to perpetually relive it, and revel in Universal Studios Classic Monsters, and B-Movies from the '50s and '60s. They wouldn't be half-bad if they didn't roast non-believers alive during the bash. They usually only pop into this dimension in search of non-believers, for their sacrifices. They can smell them a dimension or two away."