My friends and I were bored one night and decided to see what kind of bad movies we could rent and enjoy with a few beers. I certainly wasn’t in the mindset for a good movie – I simply wanted to relax with a guilty pleasure. I wanted something my friends and I could laugh at it in an intoxicated state, and just have a good time.
The very first mistake I made that night was renting Maximum Conviction, a film starring action legend Steven Seagal and WWE Superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin. You’d think a movie starring such an awesomely terrible cast would offer some mindless entertainment, but you’d be wrong. Maximum Conviction is one of the most incredibly boring films I have ever seen, with acting and filmmaking that is so poor, you begin to wonder if there’s some cruel god out there who just wants mankind to suffer.
I wanted some mind-numbing action from Maximum Conviction, nothing more. There are plenty of gun shots and strange fist fights, but somehow none of it is cool to watch in the least.
The action is too simple to ever be entertaining, unless purely by accident. A ridiculous fight scene that features a woman kicking Stone Cold Steve Austin’s ass was worthy of some snide comments by my friends, though the fight was so poorly choreographed that I can’t really remember any specific details.
Actually, that’s the story of Maximum Conviction in a nutshell; everything is so bland, so uneventful, that even an explosion couldn’t break me out of my daydreaming funk. It’s as if director Keoni Waxman had set out to make an action movie that has absolutely no style whatsoever; in which case he succeeded completely.