There are three types of crappy sequels in the ever-expanding world of bad cinema: that of the horrendous “direct-to-video” type, and the even more horrifying “made-for-television” kind. The logic behind the former sort of production goes something like: “Movie X” was a moderate success both at the box office and on home video, but hardly enough to warrant a theatrical sequel. However, the studio can still make a decent profit if they produce a direct-to-video sequel and shoot it in Bulgaria. The basis for a made-for-television flick, on the other hand, usually runs along the lines of: “Dear God, we need to produce something for our SyFy Original Movie next week — so don’t just stand there, go produce…something…in Bulgaria!”
The only constant here really is Bulgaria. And, if I actually knew where Bulgaria was or what sort of contributions it has made to the world, I would make some sort of joke at its expense. Alas, an extensive two-minute investigation via The Google only told me: “File Not Found. Error 404.”
As a rule of thumb, either form of follow-up films (direct-to-video vs. made-for-television) will usually cause tremendous amounts of psychological (and sometimes even physical) pain amongst viewers over the age of nine and/or possessing IQs over 63. Once in a while, though, a notable exception comes along to break the widely-recognized belief that “crappy sequels shot in Bulgaria suck.” As hard as it is to fathom, Lake Placid 3 is an exception; not in the sense that it’s good (it isn’t), but rather, that it is actually a sequel that is both direct-to-video and made-for-television.
Initially shown in the States as a SyFy Channel Movie of the Weak in August of 2010, Lake Placid 3 caused several hundred-thousand people in America to shake their heads in pity and disgust over the god-awful special effects, bad acting, and half-witted dialogue in contained. Now, however, we get to see the movie (again?) in an Unrated form as it makes a home video debut. The difference between the two? This direct-to-video release of a crappy made-for-television sequel includes several wonderful moments of nudity that were edited out of the TV version. And it makes all the difference in the world for a red-blooded straight lad like myself.
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