Now, I’ve given you the good and I’ve defended this movie against its detractors. But along with the good comes the bad and since I’ve already given you the sugar, I must give you the medicine. Hopefully that first spoonful will help it go down.
One of the big arguments against Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is that it feels less like a film and more like a nostalgic thrill ride, like the roller coaster version of Indiana Jones or a remake of a classic song. It hits all the right notes and it does what it has to do, but it’s not the original and it never will be. Sort of like a remake of a Beatles song: no matter how good it is, it ain’t the Beatles. I have to admit that I agree.
On one hand, it “is” the Indiana Jones movie that came 19 years after the last Indiana Jones movie. One could argue that it sort of “has to be” a nostalgic trip down memory lane. On the other hand, as fun as this movie can be at times, ultimately it just lacks heart. As a longtime fan who grew up with Indiana Jones, I should have cried during this movie. That’s as direct and to the point as I can be. I should have cried when Indy and Marion were reunited, or at the very least teared up. I should’ve gotten goosebumps when Indy put the hat back on or cracked the whip for the first time. But I didn’t. And that is the worst thing I can say about this film. For a movie that was supposed to be a nostalgic and exciting trip back to my childhood, it was far too tame and lackluster. While it didn’t offend me or make me shake an angry fist at Spielberg & Lucas for retroactively molesting my childhood, it didn’t really fill me with the sense of wonder that it should have either. It didn’t rape my childhood, because it lacked the ability to return me to those days of wonder.
Ultimately, I did like this movie. It wasn’t great, but it was fun. Sure, it wasn’t as good as the first three, but it was a hell of a lot better than Rocky IV, Land of the Dead, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, and whatever the fourth Alien movie was called. Most film franchises can’t successfully make it past two movies. Judged against its peers, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a resounding success.
Article comments
1 - Max
Hey I saw that episode of South Park too! I love getting my article ideas from other sources!
2 - Mat Brewster
Great review. For me in Raiders they took the old serials, paid homage to them, then elevated it and made it great.
With Crystal Skull they took the old 50s b-movies, paid homage to them, and made another b-movie. They didn't make the film any better than what they were paying homage too. I hated the movie, even if it didn't "rape" my childhood.