Marauding, mindless zombies, no first class, no in-flight movies, and no salted nuts. And it gets worse! New Line Home Entertainment lands Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak On A Plane straight to DVD, so fasten your seat belts because it's going to be a bumpy ride.
At a time when airlines have routinely kept passengers stranded in conga lines and airport terminals, creatively screwing up the air travel experience for so many travelers in so many nefarious ways, can flesh-eating zombies really be more frightening than having to get through a security checkpoint without completely disrobing, or finding your seat's overhead luggage bin not already stuffed with A30, C13, and D2's carry-ons? The writers, director Scott Thomas, Sidney Iwanter, and Mark Onspaugh, attempt the daunting task of answering that question, but don't have the budget or the scripting verve to make it a resounding yes.
What they do have is a good cast which includes Erick Avari and Kevin J. O'Connor from 1999's The Mummy, and a clever sense for using the 747 jumbo jet's confining spaces as zombies overrun the cargo hold, the aisles, rip through the floor, and barge their way into the toilet. But the promise of a cheeky, retro-fitted storyline, and characters straight from the Airport disaster movies is not realized, although the opening credit sequence, with its bitchin' song and animation, teases us with that expectation.
Yes, there's a nun — sans guitar this time, thank God — a cop handcuffed to his wise-cracking, suave criminal charge, three perky stewardesses, an aging pilot on his last flight, and fast moving bio-zombies. What's not here is the needed scale to make the aisles of the 747 a harrowing battleground, or the depth of characterization and turmoil to put you on the edge of your seat, dreading every minute the plane is in the air.
It's a good popcorn and soda movie, but you will find the popcorn doesn't stick in your throat and the soda doesn't fizz into your nose like it does when watching more gripping horror fare. Missing, too, is the realism and normal discomfort of being on a plane: passengers on this flight easily stand in and walk the aisles during turbulent weather, and there's no intrusive background jet engine noise; and for a 747, not many passengers booked this trip, although we keep getting new zombies from somewhere.
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