Hi, Mike Judge. Sombero Grande here. We need to talk.
Look...this isn't working out. Sure, we had a lot of fun in the past, but things aren't like they used to be. I've changed...or you've changed...The point is, one of us has changed, and I think it's best if I don't see you anymore, and by you I mean your movies.
Sorry, Mike, but after putting myself through Extract, I think it's clearly time that I move on.
I can still recall the first I ever heard about you. I'll admit that when I first became aware of Beavis and Butt-head, I was taken aback. "What is this garbage?" I wondered aloud to anyone within earshot. Yet, sometimes, secretly, I'd turn on MTV and I have to admit that I found myself giggling from time to time at your immature shenanigans. Later on I began to impersonate Cornholio in public and even revel in your characters' infectious laughs. I even saw Beavis and Butt-head Do America...in the theater. What can I say, I was young and foolish back then.
Then came Office Space. Now, I have to admit, I was highly skeptical at first. I expected a Dilbert knock-off, something made only to capitalize on the growing interest in cubicle-based humor, and gave it a pass in theaters, like so many others did. But my friends kept bringing up Office Space, telling me how great it was. Finally I agreed to watch it, and that one late night in college I sat in stitches. Okay, I had a few drinks in me, but when Milton started talking about the merry squirrels, I nearly passed out on the floor laughing.
Oh, those were happy times, Mike, filled with moments I'll always treasure. I still put Office Space up in my top-ten favorite films to just pop into the DVD player and watch anytime, and can quote lines endlessly with a smile on my face. Just the other night my wife brought up Michael Bolton and I replied, "you mean the no-talent ass-clown?" Good times, Mike, and I thank you for those.