It’s utterly amazing how fast time can fly by sometimes. Especially with a series like Desperate Housewives. When I first discovered the show, I fell in love — although I feel as though I should clarify that my affection was for the show itself, and should not be taken in the literal sense. Granted, I was dating at the time, but I doubt one would call it love. Besides, I think she was crazy. Come to think of it, most of my ex-girlfriends were crazy.

Getting back to my original point, I originally adored Desperate Housewives when it first hit town. It was a completely outrageous and zany dark comedy that borrowed or paid homage to more than its fair share of bizarre twists and turns from the alleged “mainstream” soap operas that only helped to inspire it. It was also a show to be consumed in small quantities. Watching an entire season would either drive you crazy, or urge you to hate housewives all around. There was only so much drama, lying, cheating, conniving, stealing, etc. that I could take (especially seeing as how I tended bar in a prison town). Eventually, the “consume in small quantities” label I had assigned to Desperate Housewives had to be changed to read “poisonous — do not consume,” followed by a friendly reminder: “You might as well date one of your ex-girlfriends again.”

“How can a show,” I asked myself, “that jumped the shark in its very first season continue for very long?” But, instead of simply jumping said shark, Desperate Housewives opted to swim directly in front of it — with a gaping, bloody wound taunting the gargantuan aquatic beast every step of the way.

Okay, so it had been a long while since I had ventured to return to Wisteria Lane. I was more than surprised at the way things had changed. Every single character went through a massive transformation that would normally take a decade to arrange on a traditional soap opera. Instead, Desperate Housewives did it between seasons. Five years suddenly passed. The children from the previous seasons were fully grown (which is odd seeing as how the parents didn’t age a lick). Some characters had more children (the other kids grew tiresome quickly, I guess). Other characters were now suddenly blind, married, divorced, and even more crazier (or, desperate, it you prefer) than before.

Article Author: Luigi Bastardo

Luigi Bastardo is the disgruntled alter-ego of Adam Becvar, a thirtysomething lad from Northern California who has watched so many weird movies since the tender age of 3 that a conventional life is out of the question. …

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