"What's all that yelling about?" asked Zombos, putting his book down. We were in the study on a beautifully foggy morning.
"It sounds like Praetorious," I said.
"Well, see what the blasted fool is yelling about now. If it's not ducks, it's something else."
I went down to the front door, opened it, and found the groundskeeper waiting for me. He tossed a small package into my hands.
"What's this, Praetorious?" I asked.
"Your damn fool something-or-other. Postman barely slowed down before he threw it over the fence. Hit me on the head, it did." The groundskeeper adjusted his large straw hat. "Now maybe I can trim those corpse plants around the back in peace. Damn things grow like weeds."
As he walked off, I tore open the package. There it was: my reviewer copy of Anchor Bay Entertainment's release of Cemetery Man!
The first thing I do before watching a new DVD is to look for a commentary or documentary, even if the film is new to me. I watch that first. I know, even Zombos thinks it rather odd, but I prefer to know as much as possible about a new film before I see it, and more about a film I've already seen, with the hope that I will learn about those little artistic touches that otherwise go unnoticed.
The liner notes for a DVD can also provide a wealth of valuable information regarding the provenance of a film. (Oh lord, I am watching too many Antiques Roadshow episodes!) Michael Felsher's liner notes for Anchor Bay's release of Cemetery Man are exemplary, and I learned much about this quirky, downright odd mix of humor, horror, sexual desire and necrophilia, gore and surrealism by director Michele Soavi and writer Gianni Romoli (from Tiziano Sclavi's novel, Dellamorte Dellamore).
Rupert Everett plays Francesco Dellamorte, the forlorn, laconic caretaker of the Buffalora Cemetery, aided by a Curly-esque, dim-bulb — but frenetic — sort of individual called Gnaghi. One slight annoyance, or nightly chore — if you will — is that they have to keep the newly buried dead underground. For reasons never mentioned, the dead keep wanting to stay undead. (Mr. Soavi, as noted in the IMDb trivia for the film, explains that these "returners" are brought back to life by the mandragola roots that permeate the grounds of the cemetery. But that really doesn't tell us why, does it? Life is often like that: things happen, but we never really know why. We just go with the flow.)
Article comments
1 - Mat Brewster
I love this movie. I first caught it on some late night show and have seen it many times since.
I can't believe you didn't mention how freaking gorgeous falchi is. Jesum, what a woman.
2 - Duke De Mondo
Great review Iloz! this is one of those number's i been keeping an eye for and never got a chance to see. Hopefully that'll change, given this DVD release. And might i say your blog is astonishingly good. I clicked through earlier on and spent ages pourin o'er every inch. Marvellous.
3 - Aaron Fleming
I agree, a dashing review!
I actually just watched the film in question, and it was damn good, especially towards the latter half where the surrealism really kicks off.
4 - Iloz Zoc
Thanks all, I appreciate the comments. Oh, and sorry, but I will have to eliminate all of you. After reading your respective blogs, Zombos figures the competition is too great. Both he and I are jealous, so, off you go! The blood-sucking bats o'doom are on their way.
Oh, shit! WRong way! Zombos you idiot, I said let them looose outside not insi---