DVD Review: Bloodrayne - The Third Reich

Once again, master b-movie craftsman Uwe Boll has managed to take all of the wrong ingredients and sculpt something utterly incredible out of them. Bloodrayne: The Third Reich — the latest in a franchise most people would just assume forget about — continues the story of Rayne (played by Natassia Malthe, reprising her role from BloodRayne II: Deliverance), the half-vampire (or, “Dhampir,” if you will) beauty that normally occupies her time by killing vampires.

This time ‘round, however, our heroine Rayne is killing Nazis as well. The setting is Europe, 1943. Der Führer’s men are everywhere, intent on living up to their demented commander’s plan to conquer the world. Their goal comes that much further to completion once Rayne interferes in their day-to-day program of wanton executions and in-general badness after a bit of her blood accidentally mixes with that of a Nazi officer Brand (Michael Paré, who has been in the entire BloodRayne series albeit in different roles) — turning him into a Dhampir as well.

As his lust for power increases, Brand’s cohort, a vicious SS doctor named Mangler (Clint Howard), experiments with various vampire critters in order to produce a serum that will make Hitler immortal. Meanwhile, Rayne works with a group of resistance fighters (led by Brendan Fletcher), leading to an explosive finale full of gunplay, things going boom, Nazis being killed and lots of variants on the word “fuck” (the screenwriter is a huge Tarantino admirer, no doubt).

Naturally, producer/director throws in some gratuitous nudity (including a memorable moment with Malthe and another buxomy Euro actress) to make things interesting. But it’s the interesting cast here that really makes this admittedly-corny production so utterly incredible.

Let’s begin with said corniness. Whether you love him or hate him, there’s no denying that Uwe Boll makes movies just to make movies — and his unique, on-the-fly method of filmmaking can easily be mistaken for ignorance or inattentiveness. In Bloodrayne: The Third Reich, Boll’s shots possess all of the grace and artistry that which an entire film comprised of rehearsal takes would enjoy. The actors — people who damn well know they are not going to be receiving any award nominations for their parts here — put in minimal efforts; some don’t even bother with accents, while others appear to have trouble even remembering what an accent is.

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Article Author: Luigi Bastardo

Luigi Bastardo is the disgruntled alter-ego of Adam Becvar, a thirtysomething lad from Northern California who has watched so many weird movies since the tender age of 3 that a conventional life is out of the question. …

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