Dumb action movies are a staple of cinema. They’re fine for a quick popcorn session, or to show off some new home theater equipment. However, even the truly stupid films need some kind of cohesive narrative to stitch the action together, and Ballistic doesn't even get that right.
There has to be some record here for the number of explosions. Everything in Ballistic goes up in flames, even if there’s no reason for it. The ridiculously high body count earns it an R rating, even though no blood ever shows up on screen.
Fight sequences and shootouts make up the bulk of this hilarious disaster. Lucy Liu (who looks sedated for the entire running time) and Antonio Banderas star as assasins looking for a secret military, uh, thing that was stolen by, uh, some other guy. Okay, there’s no logic to this plot, and the twists make zero sense. By the time it’s over, Banderas and Liu are working together for some unintelligible reason even though they were apparently against one another earlier.
Never before has roughly 20 minutes of a 90 minute movie been this confusing. Yes, 20 minutes of down time (or "plot" if you prefer) is all you’ll get. There is almost no backstory to the characters, who they work for is never actually explained, and the cast seems to be moving only to set up more action.
Aside from some insane stunt work, even the action is dull and/or confusing. The quick cuts make it hard to figure out who is fighting with whom, the explosions are baffling (small explosives can apparently send a multi-ton shipping crate 50 feet into the air on top of a ball of fire), and the constant use of slow motion is aggravating.
Even a few clichés slip in, such as the hero walking away from a massive explosion… in slow motion. Grinding techno fills the scene during every hint of action, and it ends up sounding like nothing more than repetitive noise behind the gunfire.
Article comments
1 - Michael "ZepFan" Clayton
I recall recently that Rotten Tomatoes did an article dubbed "worst rated movies ever" and if I recall Ballistic was at the top of the list. Out of 102 critics, not one of them gave it a positive review. That's almost unheard of. Even putrid bullshit like "Son of the Mask" had at least one supporter. Solid review overall, I think you succeeded in really outlining some of the prime reasons the movie was such dreck.
2 - Brandon Valentine
Matt,
When I saw someone posted a DVD review of Ballistic, I couldn't help but chuckle and feel sorry for everyone who ever sat through this fecal matter.
Yet, reading reviews of trash is fun, and I had a blast reading this one.
Thanks.