Pauly ends up at an orphan home which reminds him of the kind of place “where you would get medical marijuana.” He is allowed to take three orphans, one a day, to “try them out,” but he must return them by dark. As expected, Pauly makes for a less-than-adequate caregiver. He walks off and forgets the children when he sees beautiful women and he tends to drink a lot of wine, and allows the kids to do the same.
Adopted is 80 minutes of silliness wrapped around a message about celebrity adoptions. At the end of the DVD we read stupefying numbers regarding the world’s orphan population and wonder who will adopt these tens of millions of children. Fortunately for the children, it won’t be Pauly Shore.
On the other hand, if I (as the orphan I am) were given the choice between being adopted by Madonna or being adopted by Pauly Shore, I think I would choose Pauly. Instead of carting me around and using me for publicity, he would probably neglect me and leave me to my own devices. I would have the benefit of a rich, celebrity parent without having to deal with him. Unfortunately, life isn’t a mockumentary and nobody is going to adopt me.
Adopted is not hilariously funny. It is not riotously funny. It’s also not in the least bit serious. It’s cheesy and goofy and requires a minimum of consciousness. Adopted is exactly the right movie for when one wants to be entertained, but doesn’t want to think. If one likes Pauly Shore, of course.
DVD extras include bonus scenes which aren’t that big a bonus and the theatrical trailer. Bottom Line: Would I buy/rent/stream Adopted? I have to admit, I’m a Pauly Shore fan. If I were in the mood, I’d stream it.