DVD Review: 2-Headed Shark Attack

There’s an old saying in Hollywood: “Anything to make a buck.” This doubly applied to independent exploitation movie makers. After the success of Piranha — campy remake of a campy Jaws spoof, it was inevitable that someone would return to the root of the killer fish genre and present us with a neo-sharksploitation flick that’s a rip-off of a remake of a spoof. 2-Headed Shark Attack — a movie that is so bad, it’s downright terrible. The lad behind this run-of-the-mill excursion to direct-to-video monstrosities is Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray, son of another B-movie auteur, Fred Olen Ray. And, just to keep up with the exploitation angle, Christopher hired Piranha actor Jerry O’Connell’s brother Charlie as the lead actor.

He also brought Carmen Electra onboard as Charlie’s scientist (uh-huh) wife, who does little else than sunbathe during the movie, and whose interactions with the rest of the cast are so sparse, you’d almost wonder if she didn’t stick around to film while everyone else went out to lunch. Speaking of “out to lunch,” it would appear that 2-Headed Shark Attack’s writers and continuity people were also away on an extended dining break (they must’ve sent ‘em out to get doughnuts or something). The ridiculous story here has a boatload of college kids on a Semester at Sea, who run into a dead shark and are forced to retreat to an uninhabited island while they attempt to fix the now-breeched hull.

Of course, the ship doesn’t get repaired (the titular two-headed shark eats anyone who threatens to end the movie abruptly), and the kids and their professor (O’Connell) are forced to figure out their plan of action on an uninhabited atoll that is complete with a road, a dock and signs that read “No Fishing.” Oh, and did I mention that the atoll is mysteriously sinking piece-by-piece? I should also point out that the shark (whose two heads enable it to have double the sensitivity to electromagnetic pulses — or something like that) is inexplicably able to change its size depending on the depth of the water (the ocean itself constantly alters its depth, as well as color). It can also bi-locate thanks to some poor editing.

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Article Author: Luigi Bastardo

Luigi Bastardo is the disgruntled alter-ego of Adam Becvar, a thirtysomething lad from Northern California who has watched so many weird movies since the tender age of 3 that a conventional life is out of the question. …

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  • 1 - LukE

    Aug 26, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    The acting in 2 headed shark attacks is so fucking shit brooke hogan is a talentless and looks alot older than she actually is alot older and carmen electra aint she a porn star :s "worst film ever" quote comic book guy from the simpsons the director should of just spent the money used ta make this film in vegas

  • 2 - MrDean

    Sep 09, 2012 at 5:59 am

    A new low for SyFy. Brooke Hogan has no business being anywhere near a movie. Carmen Electra looks tired and strung-out. There are glaring holes throughout. Absolutely horrible. No stars. This movie really sucked. Bad.

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