I fully expected nothing but quality when I went to see Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. As it turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong. This was an exercise in pure and utter ridiculousness, and frankly, I want my time and money back. I expected this movie to do for me what Backdraft did for firemen. I wanted it to paint dodgeball in the same glowing light that Top Gun showered pilots with. I wanted it to give every person a chance like those drillers, turned cosmonauts in Armageddon. All I got was mockery of one of the greatest competitive sports of our time, next to Rock-Paper-Scissors, competitive eating, badminton and lawn darts.
Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn were the "stars" of this "movie." I personally have never seen a worse portrayal of characters ever. Stiller was amateurish in his portrayal of world-class gym owner, White Goodman and Vaughn looked like he didn't even want to be there in his attempt to capture the character of Peter Le Fleur. What is with that character's name anyway? Is this a movie about dodgeball, or some movie about failed hockey players? Stiller looked like he was pumped up on roids and his facial expressions were just a caricature. Mr. Stiller, it is called "acting." You know that word that constantly preceded "like an idiot" while you were growing up? And Mr. Vaughn, it is a good thing that Cabin Boy was already made because you wouldn't stand a chance in hell of getting a part in that relative masterpiece. Chris Elliott, Pauly Shore, Carrott Top and Brendan Frasier will one day spit on your grave.
There were many cameos that added absolutely nothing to the story. Lance Armstrong showed up for a moment, along with world-renowned paintball hawker, William Shatner. Shatner was apparently using the announcer from the All Valley tournament in Karate Kid as inspiration for his 3 seconds in this movie. I would have been happy if John Creese and the evil Cobra Kai gang headed by Johnny, had shown up to kick his ass after witnessing that performance. The only saving grace was television's David Hasselhoff who proved yet again why he was so successful with Knight Rider, and Baywatch. His acting was pure brilliance. Unfortunately, given the final result, he is going to have to leave this off of his credit sheet.
While all of these things were bad, the thing that really bugged me about this movie were the dodgeball scenes. It was overly stupid every time a match would start when the referree would point to center court, knees bent and "dramatically" yell "DODGEBALL!" I didn't believe it for a second. Anyone who has ever played dodgeball knows that the game starts with a blow of the whistle. I don't know who wrote this "script" but they couldn't have known any less about their topic.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Lono
dude,
I am gravely concerned for you. First off, it was a Ben Stiller movie... which means it is stupid satire. I like Ben Stiller, but would NEVER pay $10 a person to see his movies. Everything Ben Stiller does screams 'renter' to me... meaning I'll wait 3 months until it comes out on Netflix.
As for Vince Vaughn... I have never seen him not be hilarious and over the top. But, if you expected a moving tale/ documentary about Dodgeball, then you are the one they are making fun of the whole time.
2 - Bob A. Booey
I think a movie that doesn't take itself seriously is automatically disqualified from the "worst movie ever" title. There are plenty of horrible, shlocky dramas and grandiose; self-indulgent would-be epics to claim that title; so much horrible, manipulative sentimental Hollywood sap. And then there are mind-numbing assaults on the human spirit like Pearl Harbor that insult your intelligence and dignity at every moment.
A possible exception to this rule is the "satire" of police comedies known as Double Trouble -- look it up. I saw it really late on TV the other night and it had two really bad meat-head, bodybuilder twins (David and Peter Paul, I think?) who were tough cops. Worst movie I've ever seen. Worst acting, but it was entertaining because it was so bad and so 80s cliched. Classic.
I haven't seen Dodgeball, but I'm sure it's not that bad.
3 - Craig Lyndall
Were the David Hasselhoff compliments too subtle?
I wanted it to do for dodgeball what Top Gun did for pilots?
4 - Chris Kent
I'm sorry, but the worst film ever is Armageddon. Without a doubt, without even a moment's breath, that it is worst film in history. I needed therapy for several months after sitting through that vile piece of shit. A close second would be Timeline.
Any post that references Over the Top must be swimming in the realms of satire....
5 - Craig Lyndall
Thanks Chris. I thought the Over the Top reference was hilarious. I guess sometimes I write to crack myself up.
6 - Joe
I thought the reference to the Cobra Kai dojo was inspired, too.
7 - Tom Johnson
I guess I must be the only one who picked up that Craig's review was done in a mock-serious tone.
And Chris, I'll gladly join you in stating that Armageddon is the worst film of all time. I don't care if the film makers claim they were purposely making it "over the top," it was horrible, painful, excruciating cinema.
Say what you want about Over The Top, but you have to agree with me when I say it was, without a doubt, the greatest film about both arm-wrestling and truck-driving ever made.
8 - Mark Saleski
oh, i picked up on the tone alright...but i'm still in shock that anybody paid real money to see this thing.
9 - Tom Johnson
I'll agree with you there, Mark. I've just had enough with Stiller's characters - they've all melded into one charicature for me with only slight variations between. I know, I know, this one plays dodgeball, but they all seem like the same schtick anymore. Yawn.
10 - Mark Saleski
it's such a mystery...what makes us laugh.
adam sandler also recycles the 'adam sander character'...but it still makes me laugh. and of course i've got no idea why, it just does.
11 - Craig Lyndall
A mystery it is... writing this article I was laughing hysterically... apparently I was about the only one... present company excluded.
12 - Jim Carruthers
Craig, the Hanson brothers want to have a little discussion about sports movies with you, just down that alley. Go along, it's okay.
13 - mike
dear craig, this is the funniest movie i have ever seen, and you are the most pathetic person ever. i laughed hysterically at your lame review you whiny baby.
14 - oliver
dear craig, you have a vagina
15 - tom cruise
the top gun thing was my favorite as long as "craig has a vagina" lines go
16 - craig's wife
my husband has a vagina which makes him not see movies well threrefore he cannot interpret them i am deeply sorry for craigs vagina
17 - craig's doctor
this is your doctor craig jsut informing you that your vagina checkup will be on august 18th at 12 o'clock
thank you
18 - Craig
Bitch i told you not to use the internet....this computer is only for writing lame reviews and masturbating...
p.s. thank you for the reminder doc
19 - Craig Lyndall
Are you sure you got the jokes in the movie? This review was also a joke. Thanks for stopping in. I said that Over the Top was a great movie. I said I wanted dodgeball to do for me what Top Gun did for pilots. Get your head out of your stupid ass. And I had my vagina checkup last week.
20 - RJ Elliott
Uh oh!
Craig's all hopped-up on goofballs tonight! :]
21 - shawn jones
You clearly have no sense of humor or imagination! You saw previews for the movie, and if it looked so bad then why did you go and see it? I my self enjoyed the movie to it's fullest and will buy it the day it comes out. Get a life pal and when you do, maybe you appriciate a good laugh when you see one!!!
22 - Craig Lyndall
Sarcasm. It wasn't the best, but it was sarcasm. Dodgeball was a riot.
23 - NAYR
you wanna see a REAL bad movie...rent Diamondbacks.
I went to see dodgeball and i thought it was funny. Im buying the dvd as soon as it comes out. it wasnt supposed to be serious its a comedy.
24 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
heheheh craig, that was just about as subtle a piss take as a fella could scribble. kudos, good sir. I have a feeling you find Dodgeball as agreeable as The Duke did, although i don't think it's a quotable as Zoolander.
Good stuff.
25 - bob
NO YOU ARE ALL WRONG....THE WORST MOVIE EVER WAS 'THE MILLION DOLLAR HOTEL' ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!