I fully expected nothing but quality when I went to see Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. As it turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong. This was an exercise in pure and utter ridiculousness, and frankly, I want my time and money back. I expected this movie to do for me what Backdraft did for firemen. I wanted it to paint dodgeball in the same glowing light that Top Gun showered pilots with. I wanted it to give every person a chance like those drillers, turned cosmonauts in Armageddon. All I got was mockery of one of the greatest competitive sports of our time, next to Rock-Paper-Scissors, competitive eating, badminton and lawn darts.
Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn were the "stars" of this "movie." I personally have never seen a worse portrayal of characters ever. Stiller was amateurish in his portrayal of world-class gym owner, White Goodman and Vaughn looked like he didn't even want to be there in his attempt to capture the character of Peter Le Fleur. What is with that character's name anyway? Is this a movie about dodgeball, or some movie about failed hockey players? Stiller looked like he was pumped up on roids and his facial expressions were just a caricature. Mr. Stiller, it is called "acting." You know that word that constantly preceded "like an idiot" while you were growing up? And Mr. Vaughn, it is a good thing that Cabin Boy was already made because you wouldn't stand a chance in hell of getting a part in that relative masterpiece. Chris Elliott, Pauly Shore, Carrott Top and Brendan Frasier will one day spit on your grave.
There were many cameos that added absolutely nothing to the story. Lance Armstrong showed up for a moment, along with world-renowned paintball hawker, William Shatner. Shatner was apparently using the announcer from the All Valley tournament in Karate Kid as inspiration for his 3 seconds in this movie. I would have been happy if John Creese and the evil Cobra Kai gang headed by Johnny, had shown up to kick his ass after witnessing that performance. The only saving grace was television's David Hasselhoff who proved yet again why he was so successful with Knight Rider, and Baywatch. His acting was pure brilliance. Unfortunately, given the final result, he is going to have to leave this off of his credit sheet.
While all of these things were bad, the thing that really bugged me about this movie were the dodgeball scenes. It was overly stupid every time a match would start when the referree would point to center court, knees bent and "dramatically" yell "DODGEBALL!" I didn't believe it for a second. Anyone who has ever played dodgeball knows that the game starts with a blow of the whistle. I don't know who wrote this "script" but they couldn't have known any less about their topic.