Big Love’s (HBO) current trio of polygamous wives almost reflect the three aspects: Maiden, Mother, Crone (Child, Bride, and Widow). Each of these characters contends with the family they have created, and the family they have lost. As disparate as these women seem, each has been scorned and abandoned by her mother.
It’s hard to think of Barb (played by the luscious Jeanne Tripplehorn), the first wife in both seniority, age, and power, as a crone, but it’s easy to cast her as a widow to her original (non-polygamous) marriage to Bill, the patriarchal maypole around which his wives dance. “I sacrificed our love for the love I have for this family,” she says.
Nicki (Chloë Sevigny, wife #2) is a multitasking, sublimating, organized, and tired-looking mother type with a few flaws (compulsive spender, gambler, oral sex hater). The daughter of the fundamentalist sect leader, The Prophet, on the sequestered compound in Juniper Creek, she believes in the ‘principle,’ the covenant of plural marriage. She rarely smiles, unless her dad is coming for a visit or she’s gloating over her latest purchase or managing to subvert her sister-wives’ influence in some way. Not looking the least bit joyous, much less contented, she gives Barb this bit of advice: “I know how to submit, and that’s why I’m so happy.” Nothing turns her on more than stroking her white marriage dress and the fleeting pleasure she felt when she first wore it, fulfilling her destiny — marriage to a righteous man. Besides, she thought Barb was dying and she’d be first wife, a dream for every woman on the compound.
Margene (Ginnifer Goodwin, wife #3) seems to be truly happy with her marriage(s) — she’s married to not only Bill, but to both Nicki and Barb — in the innocent manner of all truly happy people. Her character manages, with two children and a bun in the oven, to exude youthful innocence and exuberance (not to mention a gung-ho, it’s-all-natural sensuality). She’s capable of getting angry, but she doesn’t plot against her sister-wives, like Nicki does, nor seek to manipulate them as Barb does. Margene is content with her marriages because she has found what she always lacked — a family.
Barb’s birth family are white-bread Mormons (non-polygamous members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or LDS for the short-winded). The LDS disdains not only The Prophet’s followers, but polygamy in all its permutations. Barb’s sister and mother don’t return her calls; the break with her family is so complete that she has to read about her mother’s (Ellen Burstyn) plan for a second marriage on the society page. She didn’t get an invitation, but shows up anyway, thereby creating the scene her birth family had sought to avoid — they’re ashamed of Barb and the life she’s living. But more importantly, there are status issues. They equate her choices to the shadowed lives at Juniper Creek. Barb worries that there’s not much difference, either, and hence her agony. Plus, she believes in love, not only her love for Bill, but for her sister and mother. That it’s not being returned from them is a continuing source of torment for her.
Article comments
1 - Saskia Vogel
Always nice to read a well-rounded perspective on alternative relationships!
2 - Alyse
I would actually argue that Barb is the mother-type and Nicki is the crone-type. For Barb is truly a nurturer and Nicki certainly acts like an old woman (crotchety, stern, conservative, etc)
3 - Ellen Horwitz
Good clear summary and analysis, makes sense to me and I've seen most of this season.