This series is a form of creative writing known as fan fiction. Detective Robert Goren is a regular character on the Dick Wolf television show Law & Order: Criminal Intent. What follows is one longtime viewer's breath of life into an already popular character.
All week long I've been wide awake by 1 a.m. Not a calm rousing, but startled awake to the sound of my own heart racing. I can't lay there so I get up and wander through my apartment. Walking off the physical uneasiness, talking myself down from the internal panic. I know exactly what is going on with me. Every few months I go through this kind of insomniac phase. I spend so much of my waking day keeping everything in check. Emotions stable, focus on my job. I spend a lot of time pushing my own feelings and personal thoughts out of the way until they are shoved to the farthest corners of my mind.
Then I try to sleep and my guard falls. All of those demons that are exiled at 1pm rush back in and flood my mind at 1 a.m.
My mother. My father. Failed attempts at love. Crime scenes like the one where an old couple was gunned down and died hand in hand on the sidewalk. Nicole. Things that I've done wrong, private guilt that just eats away at me.
Someone suggested that I try listing the good things in my life, that maybe it will shift my mood. So, here goes.
Things I'm thankful for right at this very moment:
- The coffee that wakes, warms and soothes me several times a day. It is a food group.
- Eames. As a partner, I couldn't ask for better. I adore her cynicism, quick wit and ballsiness. As a friend, she is a rarity, never letting her sarcastic tone outweigh her huge heart. As a woman she has earned her spot in the middle of a big boys club. She has earned everyone's respect and in return she takes care of us. Deakin's calls her "The Den Mother" and in many ways she is just that.
- Logan. Yep, we spar. Forget verbal ballet, it's more like verbal Irish Step Dancing. It's all in good fun though. I have a great deal of respect for him. He was banished to Staten Island for years. Most cops would have quit but he stuck it out, waiting for his chance to get back to real cases. He loves his job and does it for the right reasons, otherwise he would have quit while ticketing golf carts. He's a younger Lennie Briscoe and it's refreshing. I think we work well together and I hope to do so more often. Continued on the next page Page 1 — Page 2
Article comments
1 - aperson
I love them together (Bobby&Nicole).
Thanks for great thoughts. They are my "little old couple".
A wonderful pairing.