This series is a form of creative writing known as fan fiction. Detective Robert Goren is a regular character on the Dick Wolf television show, Law & Order: Criminal Intent. What follows is one longtime viewer's breath of life into an already popular character.
I walked last night. A late night tradition of sorts. I often walk by myself late at night when I can't sleep. Last night was no different, although it was supposed to be. I've spent the last week trying to keep more normal hours and trying to make myself sleep. A fresh start and new beginning- such a mental headgame we play with ourselves. Everything is new and fresh, yet it is all exactly the same. The only change is the one that we convince ourselves exists. We need to change things so badly that we tell ourselves everything looks different with a stroke of the clock, drop of a ball, turn of a page. Yet it all is really the same.
As I walked last night that point was driven home. As I passed the same streets with the same cars & the same signs; the same shops & the same bodegas; the same tipped over garbage cans & in some spots the same litter. It's all the same yet different.
It's all the same as when I left work but I wanted to see it differently. Better than the day before.
The streets are never really empty, not really. There's always a few people wandering around no matter the time of day or night. It is a city that never sleeps. In a way, that's good because as long as you walk out the door and onto the sidewalk, you aren't alone.
Last night the cold air felt good. I hadn't realized how stifled the week had left me. It was as if I was taking my first deep, clear breaths in days. I was lost in thoughts of absolutely nothing for a change. Just existing in that moment, breathing in the cold air & hearing revilers off in the near distance. If I'd wanted to join them I could have turned into one of many bars along the way but I had no desire. The people out were as interesting as ever. The drunken couple that were holding each other up- as I got closer to them it was clear that they were very much in love.