I've been resisting jumping on the Bashing Bandwagon over the new series of Desperate Housewives, but... well... a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Here's when I knew it was time to get tough: Mr Teletart and I were discussing what-had-gone-wrong with the show, while the show was actually on.
And so, in the interests of television science, I now present my theories re the Demise of the Not-So-Domestic Divas.
1. No one's keeping secrets anymore. Series One was brimming with delicious skeletons-in-closets and hidden pasts (who was Mike, really? why did Mary Alice die? what was under Paul Young's swimming pool? what was Mrs Huber hiding?) Series Two... well, there's that ridiculous prisoner-in-the-basement story. Oh, and no one yet knows that George killed Bree's husband. Except us, which kinda takes the fun out of it. Apart from that, not so many mysteries. The delightful twist in the soapy premise - that dark things lurk beneath the surface of even the most idyllic suburban neighbourhoods - is no more. Now we gotta lotta soap, and hardly any dirt to wash out.
2. Stories are spinning their wheels. Watching Susan vacillate on whether to be with Mike... not so interesting. Watching Gabrielle clip clop her way in and out of the prison visiting room... yawn. Bree wants to keep George at arm's length... seen it before. Lynette has another family crisis that might take her away from work... zzzzzzzz.
3. I just don't believe them anymore. If you invest a character with enough truth, they can do crazy things and you'll buy it. Bree, for instance, in one of the few great moments from this new season, changes the tie on the corpse of her husband - during the open-casket funeral. I laughed, and I believed it. But Susan, newly committed to Mike, finds the son he's desperately been looking for... and then lies to him about it? Fie on you, contrivance! Susan and Julie are actually regular churchgoers, who perform in 'family' concerts? Since when? Does Gabrielle actually do anything other than strut around feeling horny, acquisitive and/or angry? As for Gabrielle and Carlos's storyline - they've never had any real connection as a couple, so why are we supposed to care about them now? Don't even get me started on Betty Applewhite and her son.
Article comments
1 - Rodney Welch
The storylines do get absurd, and I agree about Susan and Julie in church; that was kinda weird. Otherwise, I like most of what you hate about the show: the prisoner in the basement, George and Bree and Bree's crazy kid, the increasing tension at Lynette's job with the girl who used be on Ellen, Gabrielle and Carlos and the lawn-boy. That's all cool with me and gives me something to look forward to during the week.
2 - Chris Beaumont
So far, this season isn't nearly at the level of the first and I have found my attention waning, but it hasn't sunk to irreperable depths from which i will turn my viewing eye elsewhere.... yet. The time may come if it doesn't start to improve under my scrutinous eye.
3 - teletart
It's not that the show is bad... just that it isn't living up to the wonders of Season One. Trust me, I'm still tuning in - and, if the ratings are to be believed, so is everyone else. But I don't want it to be just mildly entertaining... I want it to be brilliant. *teletart stamps foot petulantly* I know. I'm sooooo demanding. ;-)
4 - Rodney Welch
It's not Renoir. It's just a silly TV show.
5 - Chris Beaumont
This isn't at the top of my must see list, but it could be likened to watching 24 season 3, that was probably it's worst season, yet it was still ahead of a lot of the shows out there.
I'm still watching too, and it is tough to live up to the phenomenon of the first season. I think Lost is doing a better job of it in that regard.
6 - Nancy
Forgot one. Zach went missing,and now he's back? Seems to me that the kid could have left the show and no one would have been the wiser.
7 - Chris Beaumont
He's just been hanging out in the park, apparently. Tough to find.. Ha!
8 - Chris Evans
I think the season premiere was phenomenal. Everything since then has been forgettable. Honestly, nothing eventful has happened on this show since its premiere. It has become nothing more than a soap opera--it's not even funny anymore. And it's not the actors' fault. The writing is not as sharp, not as funny, not as brilliant as it used to be. And the cause of it lies within two words--Marc Cherry. He is developing a new show for ABC and has not been writing Desperate Housewives. He needs to sit back and think about where his priorities lie. Although this show is up in ratings from last season, it is no longer the critical darling it once was.