Dear Oprah
I thought you liked me. I really did. I was even going to invite you to my birthday party. But what happened? When did it all change? What went wrong between us?
Was it your new, thrilling focus on interviewing celebrities? It's lucky you do it, because we can’t see that kind of thing anywhere else. Plus lots of those people don’t get enough exposure. Like Tom Cruise. And Ashton Kutcher. Was it when you got Nate to do home makeovers for Jerry O’Connell? Kirstie Alley? Other poor, deserving stars? I'll admit, they did need your help. Where else could they find an interior decorator? Where? Where!?
Did it start with the weight loss? The moment you got that gleam in your eye, the smug little look that announced “I did it! And you didn’t!” Or perhaps it had more to do with your healthy self-interest. Though I counted up, and on the home page of your website today, you only used your own name 28 times. 28?! Why so shy? Come on – promote yourself! Better yet – give away vehicles, and promote car companies! They need our help too, just like Kirstie Alley!
Was it when you started swaying and singing along to the numbers by musical guests? That scared me a little. Or the way you began to play to the cameras, latching onto things that your audience laughed at and then repeating them? Because if once is amusing, logic only dictates that four or five times will be hilarious! Sometimes you do this right over the replies of your guests, like an interrupting kid performing for the grown-ups. It's a shame, because then we can't focus on what Mariah Carey has to say.
Maybe it was your "Women around the World" episode? Come see what freaky crap the chicks in other countries do! You won’t believe how unlike us they are! Even better, once they were on the show, you mimicked their accents. Oh that was funny! You totally nailed the weird way some of them talked! Then you concluded by telling us that Americans lived in the best, most advanced, most freedom-loving, pro-woman country in the world. Which must suck a little for all those American women who’d really like health care coverage and paid maternity leave.
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Article comments
1 - Duane
I don't see what anyone could have against a woman who led the fight to inform the women of America about makeovers, weight loss, plastic surgery, fashion choices, diets, hunky actors, dieting, surviving relationships with abusive men, sexy leading men, trimming down, Maya Angelou, tasty diet snacks, and all that other stuff that so occupies the minds of women in modern America.
2 - Cerulean
Did you ever really love Oprah, Teletart? Duane I guess we women need to read Details magazine and get hip to what is important. Or Maxim or ESPY and start memorizing baseball statistics.
3 - Duane
I know what you're saying Cerulean. This was not supposed to be a battle of the sexes. Women watch Oprah. Women are responsible for her popularity. She was one of Top 100 Greatest Americans. I didn't say all women buy into her. But God knows there are way too many that do.
4 - Bob A. Booey
Good post, Teletart. This should definitely be among Temple Stark's best of the week next week, if I may be so presumptuous to suggest that.
Oprah's lost her touch with everyday people, but her cult among women is larger than ever. My girlfriend loves her and worships her -- sometimes I think she'd save Oprah from a drowning ship before she'd save me :)
That is all.
5 - ochairball
i agree, good post. it seems she has gotten a wee bit out of touch but that's what happens when you get new friends.
I have to say, yes, i'm a female, and yes, i'm still a fan. she does more good than bad, amazing good. if only some of our other celebs put their powers to good use.
6 - Temple Stark
Just a clarification to give credit where credit is due.
1) Sarcasm was rarely used so well - on Oprah.
2) The editors' picks are from ALL the editors, I just compile them (and pick those from the music section.)
3) All that is.
7 - Aaman
This is worthy of nomination, though:)
8 - teletart
Many thanks for the comments!
Yes, I did love Oprah once. Truly. She was a positive force. And she still is in many ways, not the least of which is that she does some very good things with her money. It just depresses me that someone - the network? the PR people? Oprah herself? - thinks we can't handle those good works unless they're disguised in a nice sugary shell made out of self-interest and pieces of celebrities.
Of course it could be that these are just the market forces of afternoon television, but I'm not convinced. TV is fond of creating a reality, delivering an audience, then telling us that it's what we wanted all along. They're just giving us what we want, blah blah, etc.
Strip out some of the fluff, and I like to think that Oprah would still have an audience. Cos I'm not against fluff. In fact, I can be very pro-fluff. It's just that in Oprah's case, the fluff is a bigger letdown.
yours fluffily, teletart
9 - Bob A. Booey
God, I'm stupid :) What the hell is a "drowning ship"? Haha.
You know what I meant, though, darlings.
That is all.
10 - patricia price
I don't like ophra anymore. I tried writing to her for help but she never got back in touch with me. Now I have lost my home. Ophra whatn about us regular people that really need help?????
11 - JasonS
I agree, what happened to Oprah?