It didn't take long for disgraced anchorman Dan Rather to get back in the news game, announcing today he has signed an exclusive deal to author a weekly column for Tinfoil Hat Pundit.
"After the forged memos, 'Rathergate' I believe is what a lot of people were calling it, I'll admit I had a slight hitch in my giddy up," explained a rather surprised Rather in an afternoon phone interview. "But thanks to the generous folks at THP, I've corrected that."
Prior to "Rathergate", Rather said his career had been "humming along like Ray Charles, swinging like Count Basie." But once he went public with what turned out to be forged documents, suddenly his career was "shakier than cafeteria Jell-O."
He seemed genuinely surprised at the reaction to his gaffe. "I thought that after three-plus decades of top-notch journalism, I'd be able to ride out one simple mistake," he said. "But those on the right, especially the bloggers, they beat me like a rented mule."
Because of the pounding his reputation took, Rather is the first to admit he needs to toe the line in his new position. "In many ways, my tenure here is as thin as November ice," he explained. "And if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a hand gun."
The chance to actually write again is one of the main reasons Rather is taking the job at Tinfoil Hat Pundit. "As a network anchorman, I lived by the crystal ball," he said, "and I was eating so much broken glass, I was in critical condition."
Asked what readers should expect from his new column, Rather was silent for a moment, seemingly collecting his thoughts before answering, "Frankly, I don't know whether to wind the watch or to bark at the moon."