The CW Network, seemingly in a fervid race with FOX to shoot straight to the bottom of the septic tank and beyond has now regurgitated its latest cutesy monstrosity onto the airwaves like the proud reptilian parents they are. I'm referring to The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll, airing Tuesday nights at 9PM.
This is quite possibly the most vapid, useless waste of airtime I have seen of late and THAT is saying a helluva lot! For those of you who often as not turn a blind eye to the microbial mass that is American pop culture in the 21st century, the Pussycat Dolls are America's 10-year-old (rapid) response to Britain's Spice Girls - another musical group of stellar quality that lasted only slightly longer than a standard CW commercial break.
The PCDs, as they like to refer to themselves (how appropriate – it does sound like a strain of venereal disease doesn't it?), have felt they would be remiss if they didn't bring to our attention the vital search for this next pussycat. Indeed, Robin Antin, founder of the PCDs, and her brother Steven only approached the CW after being turned away by the Pentagon. It came as a real shock to Ms. Antin when the Pentagon told her the risks were simply too high. Apparently she was unaware that a lot of our boys in uniform are allergic to penicillin.
I don't think the Pentagon or the public at large realize what a real service the PCDs are providing America in this, our time of need. With nearly our entire reserve of talentless teen tarts in rehab, the PCDs have stepped into their red, white, and blue thongs with a patriotic fervor rarely seen among your common beach bouncing bimbo.
Between bouts of nausea (commercial breaks) it dawned on me that CW could be more clever here than anyone's given them credit for. For the last few years America's Next Top Model has been been right up there as a prime example of the networks' insistence that it's their God-given right to pander to the absolute lowest common denominator. PCDs could be CW's way of taking attention away from one stinking pile by bringing in a new and improved stinking pile, now with New Sparkling Stickiness crystals!
What is truly pathetic is that these young women – PCD wannabes - come across as so desperate, so utterly lacking in self-worth that they seem ready to sleep with the key grip if it will give them an edge. None of this seems to register on the face of Robin Antin, whom, I've got to say looks (in this show at least) like a $50 hooker... Good GOD! "Get make-up over here!"
Article comments
1 - jfrancis
So, what you're telling us is that this show plumbs the darkest depths of the ocean of suck.
Given the premise, I can believe it.
Some days, I wonder: did the monkeys evolve from us?!
2 - P. Marlowe
I've met several chimps who are adamant that this is the case... But then, you know how they can be...
3 - Christopher Rose
There are several rational flaws to this otherwise fine flow of bile. The Pussycat Dolls are a great little pop group with several really great songs on their album, whereas the vile Spice Girls maybe made two decent singles. And the Gilmore Girls is one of the worst pieces of dreck television has ever produced!
4 - P. Marlowe
Mr. Rose... Glad you recognize that I use only the BEST bile, extracted directly from the mental livers of several of the finest critics this world's ever produced...
Flaws sir! FLAW?!? ... Yah probably...
However, do realize that when you speak of the disease that IS the PCDs equating "good" songs to their last CD is essentially the same as suggesting Ford Motor made a "good" car... Perhaps but PURELY by accident...
As to the Gilmore Girls... Mr. Rose, please stick to the overall SATIRICAL element of the piece... We all KNOW the truth about the Gilmore Girls...
Thanks for your post sir!
P. Marlowe
5 - Christopher Rose
Mr Marlowe: I would never suggest that Ford made a good car. Oh, except the Ford Gilmore! Ha!
6 - stupified
That was a very good article but I'm going to have to read it a few more times with my 10 year old websters dictionary. I also dont think this mysterious Illness on the show lately is a good sign someone forgot to wash thier doll or something or screwed patient zero and shared too many few microphones. Jesus this is biblical, I'm not fing with the pussy cat dolls anymore.
7 - Ed Diatribe
Hey Olsen twin, right on!
Your commentary is so vapid. But can you handle the criticism you dish out? Have you ever made something yourself, other than a stink?
Speaking of your rubber hoses, which, from your overinflated sense of taste (from Ohio, oops...) the url I sent was a dare to put your money where your overabundant mouth is...
All roads must lead to Olsen... oh, I almost forgot, you tend to dish out those very things you yourself ban in your own "comment policy"
"Please think of the comments as a conversation between individuals and interact with civility.
We will edit/delete spam comments, duplicate comments, unsupported accusations, personal attacks of any kind, and terms offensive to groups when used in a pejorative manner.
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8 - pussy lover
hey... it's a good show.. stop hatin'
9 - Nour
Uhmm...excuse me
they are hot and nicole can sing.so all you bitter shitheads stop talking your shit.
thanks!