Dear Craig,
Skin one up? You naughty little donkey. I haven't heard that phrase in years. I had to dig deep into the memories of my wasted youth for that one.
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Monologue: One year ago tonight you guest-hosted The Late Late Show for the very first time. Congratulations! What a fateful day for you, for late night television, and for all of us fans. Woo hoo!
Peter Mayhew, the most famous wookie in any universe, is becoming a U.S. Citizen. This is relevent because you're also going through the process, working to become an American.
During an interview, Mayhew stated: "'Whatever people say about America, it is still one of the most wonderful countries in the world, despite the politics, religion and everything else that goes on.'" And, "Mayhew joked that when he comes to take the oath to become an American, he intends to use 'a Chewie growl' for any parts he cannot remember."
Lovely. Craig, beat him up for me, would you?
The wookie jokes were simply perfect. They reminded me of the cell phone commercial where they do take after take of Chewbaca emoting in a variety of ways:
Wireless sponsor Cingular started airing a national TV spot Sunday, also from BBDO, that takes viewers inside the fictional Cingular Star Wars Ringtone Recording Studio. Viewers see Chewbacca taking directions from a haughty British music executive (not unlike Simon Cowell from American Idol) as he records personal ring tones. After Chewbacca delivers one of his patented cries, the smarmy music executive says: "I love it. Now make me hate it."
Darth Vader, an asthmatic or takin' a bong hit?
What's with the Star Wars theme? The funny voices, the silly faces, and the sound effects were definitely spot on. Of course, what do I know? I gave up after the original three in the series and bear a great deal of ill-will toward George Lucas for marketing each and every imagined character - ever - to my son. They're none-too-cheap, either. Does my son really need an Emperor Palatine doll? Excuse me, ACTION FIGURE. And, not having seen the last three movies of the series, why should I even know that name? Truly, with that sort of impassioned response, I should have more distractions. I dare you, Craig, to come up with one.
Damn. Chelsea had her email read. Not me. Never me. Antonia had her email read. Not me. Never me. It's probably a good thing you went straight to blowing things up at this point in the show. I needed something to ease the mind-numbing pain.






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