Courting Craig Ferguson: The Late Late Show Diaries 10-7-2005

Dear Craig,

I apologize for my tardiness. My only defense is that John Lee Hooker, Jr. called and I was unable to resist an evening with him. However, I did tape the show and have now watched it a minimum of 6 times. What can I say? I need bit of Scotch every once in a while.

Once I got home from my fabulous evening, I popped in the tape and there you were. Magnificent. Ahhh, just what I needed. First, great music, followed by you. The weekend was getting off to a good start. I've kept that cool vibe going with more wonderful music and repeated viewings of Friday night's show. You'll be happy to know that in my travels, I've encountered many other Ferguson fans. All agree that you are the new Gold Standard of late night talk shows. Pretty cool, eh?

That may not be much of an apology for the delay, but that's all I have.

Now, on to the show.

Monologue: Thank God it's Friday. You hate Thursday because The Apprentice is on. You hate The Apprentice. Trump has decided that shaking hands is a bad thing. He doesn't do it anymore. I guess when you're rich, it social norms cease to concern you. Your explanation was better, though. Trump simply doesn't want to our poorness rubbing off on him.

"Next time I see him I won't be shaking his hand, I'll be giving him a full open mouth tonguey kiss. Take that Trump," you ranted. "Not in a million years!"

You pointed out that in Russia, the standard greeting between two men consists of 12 kisses on the cheek. "I've been married to women I haven't kissed that much!" Honey, if your lips are a good as you say they are, you gotta up the kiss count. I'm just saying. Consider it a bit of love advice, okay?

I want to backtrack a bit here. I actually like The Apprentice. Why? Let me tell you. I like observing how cutthroat some of these people are. It's a good indicator of how they operate in the real world. Sure, I know the footage is edited to reflect a certain tone, but I think those characteristics are present regardless of editing. The other thing I've enjoyed about this season is that Trump finally showed that he's human. I mean, really human. Not just a lifelike wax sculpture with a bad wig. During the show's premiere, he discovered that Randal's (one of the competitors) grandmother died. When Randal declined to leave the competition, based on the fact that his family believed his grandmother would have wanted him to see it through, Trump nodded understandingly and then flew the him off to the funeral, allowing him to return to the game afterward. For once, Trump came off as more than a rich bastard with funny hair.

Article Author: Joan Hunt

Former Baywatch babe, Playboy centerfold, and stunt double for Abe Vigoda, Managing Editor of Blogcritics and member of the board of directors for BLUSD, Joanie juggles her love of words, music, photography, wildlife, and television with her greatest love -- her kids. …

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