Dear Craig,
What a great evening! You were on fire and your audience was wonderfully responsive. You seemed to be feeling well, too. Are the sinuses better? Or is it something else? Tell, Craiggles. I'm all ears. Almost. There's the chest thing, too. But we won't go there just now.
I can't believe how many wonderful jokes you batted about this evening. I hope someone taped the show and wrote them all down. You were so "on". It was obvious by the twinkle in your eyes.
Monologue: It was another great day for America - Hollywood takes the blame for the summer movie slump. It's not because of high ticket prices or poor marketing, it's because the movies were crap. I don't necessarily agree. Some of the movies were okay, but how many of us were willing to shell out the big bucks to take that kind of chance?
You said that Must Love Dogs defied the laws of physics because it both sucked and blew at the same time. Not unlike what one must do whilst playing the didgeridoo. I now feel strangely compelled to see the movie so I can corroborate your findings. The only thing I know about the movie is that it starred John Cusak (one of my favorites) and one of the songs on the soundtrack was from Susie Suh (I've interviewed her and find her quite enjoyable).
"I'm done making movies," you proclaimed. You said that movie producers wouldn't know you said that because "it's hard to watch TV with your head up your ass. Oh, I'm really done making movies now!"
I don't think your movie career is anywhere near over. You're funny, you're smart, and you're likable. The fact that you're talented also counts in your favor. At least with me it does.
The only movie trend that isn't in a slump, you said, is porn. Let me say, on behalf of many of your fans, that we're sorry you didn't take that role in a softcore porn movie. Yes, I do believe that we're quite horrible for wanting to see you in all your glory. Horrible in that "we're like giddy school girls looking at a Playgirl magazine for the first time" sort of way.
Article comments
1 - Lisa McKay
Thanks for these, Joanie! They make me laugh and they make up for the fact that I can't stay up much past 11:30.
2 - Leo
Joan, you are a great read. Love your humor. Believe it? I just found your blog! Your style just fits the flow of Craig's show. I'm sure you'll agree that Craig is the best to come along ever in that talk show seat. No script. Wow! The man is a genius. According to our pal Google News, Craig and Sharon are said to be an item. Buy it?
L
3 - Heather
Last nights show was really good. There were so many honest moments and real jokes. I really like it when he's so chatty.
Thanks for the recap. :)
4 - Temple Stark
Hover my craft.
delightful. ...
The rest is just scary stuff :-)
5 - Joanie
I'm glad you're all enjoying.
Leo, thanks...obviously I'm trying to have as much fun as possible.
Temple, you have to see it to understand how funny it all is, especially on a show like last night's. Honestly, the man is a genius! How do you make addiction funny? Let Craig play with it!
Lisa and Heather, Thank you!
6 - Bob A. Booey
Dr. Drew is way too much of a media whore -- what was up with him playing the Olsen twins' dad in that movie that bombed and the constant attempts to get on TV for any silly reason? I still remember when he whored himself out to be on Big Brother and commented on how the guests were interacting, calling it "really very moving." Ugh.
But he's a pretty smart guy who probably means well, although I think the medium swallows his message whole in most cases. And I respect him way more than Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, John Gray and all the other phony mental health professionals out there because Dr. Drew is an actual physician, an MD with years of clinical experience in treating addiction and not just some idiot voice of moral judgment in the media restating the obvious.
That is all.
7 - Joanie
Bob, thank you. That's the first comment I've seen from you that was devoid of sexual innuendo or cursing. I'm impressed.
As for all the TV pop psychologists, I like Dr. Drew best. He's the most real of the bunch. Send me a comment with a real email and I'll provide you with a link to the FUNNIEST Dr. Phil post you'll ever read.
8 - Butch Bradley
Joanie
Thanks for the kind words! I would love you to come catch me at the laugh factory. my site will be down for a quick mi ute but its butchbradley.com .
Have a great one
Butch Bradley
9 - Joanie
Butch, you rocked, dude! I can't wait to see you perform a full show. Check your email for more effusive praise and totally sincere ass kissing.
10 - Gladys
Hi Craig
I was just wondering if your couch ever arrived? You made such a big production of how long it takes to deliver a couch.
Thanks
LOVE YOUR SHOW
GLADYS
11 - Ruth
Hey Craig,
Love your stlye and many other talents, hell your laugh and smile make it a brighter day.
Thanks,
Ruth
12 - carol chase
As craig is what I look forward to on
late late night, How can I contact him.
I sent him a cheeky wee monkey and I
never received a reply.
Carol Chase