- "People of Quebec, I'm sorry," the host of NBC's "Late Night" show said in English, as a translator recited in French, with English subtitles, "People of Quebec, I'm an albino jackass."
"We meant no harm with our comedy piece the other night," O'Brien continued, "translated" into French as: "The other night, I wet the bed like a little girl."
"I was a stranger in a strange land and I was very insensitive," he went on, with the subtitle: "I have a small penis."
The tongue-in-cheek mea culpa was delivered by O'Brien after his usual monologue during the taping of Tuesday night's show in New York. [Reuters]
Conan can get away with a lot because he's always hardest on himself, and he's weird looking.