Preface - As this is an article what deals with the "religion" and so on, I will make a gesture of good-will and censor my otherwise filthy tongue. As such, asterisks will be applied when deemed a m**herfucking necessity.
As far as The Duke can tell, the biggest copyright blunder what ever befell the denizens of literature, occurred back in the middle ages or whenever The Bible was written. This is a book what has not only outsold Pet Semetary, but even Misery, surely Stephen King's greatest achievement, and has been filmed or adapted for television more often even than Mr King's esteemed scribblings. And yet, impossible as it may be to fathom, one would be hard pressed to uncover the identity of a single author, let alone any disclaimers pertaining to intellectual property rights.
What this means, basically, is that whilst God and various other deities have suffered at the hands of the entertainment industry in a manner what would shock even George Michael of Wham!, Hollywood has found that not only do adaptations of Biblical narratives often equal exceptional box-office returns, but they also cost not a jot for to obtain.
Also, audiences care little for actor recognition.
Consider the daunting sessions of nit-pickery what await anyone foolhardy enough for to don James Bond's immaculately pressed suit, and yet more actors than anyone cares to remember have got all messianic in the role of Jesus Christ.
From Robert Henderson-Bland in Sidney Olcott's 1912 effort From The Manger To The Cross, to Robert Powell in Zeffirelli's 1977 mini-series Jesus Of Nazareth, right up to the present day with Jim Caviezel's gore-drenched antics in The Passion Of The Christ, only God himself armed with a reasonable search engine could hazard a guess at how many folks have been handing out the loaves and the fishes onscreen.
What we can deduce, though, via the utilisation of various scientific and numerological appliances, is that there have been quite a few, all being told.
Still, truth is, the best Jesuses are usually not credited as such.
Boris Karloff, for instance, in James Whale's immaculate Bride Of Frankenstein, does a better job of portraying The Christ than many of the "authentic" models. Same goes for Peter Weller's turn in Robocop, about a man is brutally tortured and then resurrected for to save humanity.
Again, with all the predictions and prophecies going on, you'd think someone would have foreseen this heinous level of plagiarism.
If The Duke were to dish out an award for Best Christ On Camera, I would have to do my own bit of miracle-flaunting, and create two awards from one, since both that Jim fella from The Torturing, Lashing, Whipping, Scourging And Passion Of Christ and Enrique Irazoqui from Pasolini's beautifully understated The Gospel According To Matthew, are transcendently magnificent in the role. (Also, a nod in the direction of Max Von Sydow's performance in The Greatest Story Ever Told is, I believe, justified.)
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Article comments
1 - Chris Kent
Excellent work Duke, though I strongly disagree with your opinion on Last Temptation of Christ, a film which I consider the finest Jesus/Biblical epic of all time. I have always considered it an underrated, incredible work by the greatest director of our time.
I saw you mentioned King of Kings, though was not aware of a 1927 version. Thought one was made during the 1950s with Jeffrey (The Searchers) Hunter in the lead role? For many years, it was a TV staple for Easter a la Ten Commandments. I have always been a big fan of the TV miniseries Jesus of Nazareth and am not sure why. Lots of great actors, an impressive project of around 12 hours. It was a noble effort and one which I have always admired.
2 - Stately Wayne Manor
Not a mention of "The Life Of Brian" ???
3 - Chris Kent
I wanted to discuss the 62% of the other Biblical films not including aliens or UFOs.....
4 - boomcrashbaby
No Jesus Christ Superstar? Or Barabbas with Anthony Quinn? No Godspell, with Christ dressed as a clown? Or Jesus of Montreal (late 80's flick that gets traditionalists up in arms)?
(Stately Wayne Manor, actually he does mention Life of Brian).
5 - Chris Kent
Well, he also mentioned Jesus of Montreal too......
As for Godspell, if there's ever been a worse film to watch while on LSD, I for one can't think of one....
6 - Stately Wayne Manor
How embarrassing.Don't know how I missed
the reference to L.O.B.Sorry 'bout that.
Somewhat on the same page: I know that
this isn't a film about Jesus H. Christ
hizzownbadself but,the Luis Bunuel film
"Simon Of The Desert" is a very bizarre
look at faith,spirituality and related
topics. A strange film to be sure but I
would expect nothing less from Bunuel.
I thought it was worth a mention,just as
to why I'm not sure...
Also worth mentioning is a little known
exploitation gem from 1974 starring Rudy
Ray Moore called "Jesus Christ Superfly"
in which Jesus the C is portrayed as a
gun packing, ho smacking, fast tracking,
wheeling & dealing hustler on the mean
streets of old Jerusalem. Herbie Hancock
did the score.
7 - boomcrashbaby
oops!
(and I've actually never seen Godspell, so I'll take your word for it.)
8 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Hi folks!
Chris, thank you! The King Of Kings you refer to was made in 61 by Nicholas Ray, none other than the director of Rebel Without A Cause, except obviously the twist here was that he had a cause, being the son of god and what not. (i believe the flick was mocked quite substantially for the very-pretty jesus. "i was a teenage jesus" it was branded by critics.)
I also think Jesus Of Nazareth is wonderful, although the DVD version i have is a mere 4 hours long, the sons a bitches. I believe the full length number is available for you american lot to be purchasing.
Last Temptation, i believe, is an amazing screenplay but a mediocre film. Visually it is TV-movie level as far as i can tell, which is unheard of from Scorsese. Its a film i like a hell of a lot, but mostly becuase of the issues it raises, rather than for any cinematic flourishes. To be honest, when it comes to Scorsese religious epics, i much prefer Kundun.
I don't belive i've saw Godspell, which is something that must be remidied. Boom, Jesus Christ Superstar i left out since, well, i just can't stan Lloyd Webber is all.
But Barabbas was an obvious candidate. In fact, i may need to do a follow up at some point, with a more in-depth look at The Robe and so on (which sadly had to be confined to what is basically a footnote), and also a flick by the name of Plastic Jesus which exists only in a very inferior transfer, with chunks missing left and right.
Steve, i love Bunuel, but owing to the lack of availability of a good chunk of his stuff here in the UK, theres lots i still need to see, and that is one of them. Sounds great, is what. And that J.C Superfly is top of the dukes list right now. Thanks man.
Thanks all.
9 - Stately Wayne Manor
Dear Duke,The "J.C. Superfly" was just a
gag.That was just a bad play on words
that I couldn't resist using.
Too bad "Simon.." isn't available to you
as it really is one of Senor L. Bunuels
better late period films.
10 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
ARGHH!!! NO!!!
I knew it was too good to be true!
Brilliant gag, though, i gotta say, man.
11 - rick carney
At first, I thought the Rudy Ray Moore flick was for real. I'm the founder of Jesus Christ Superfly, a punk rock band from Austin TX.
12 - Stately Wayne Manor
Rick,I picked up the expression JC Super
Fly from a friend of mine.Instead of the
saying "Jeezusfuckinchrist" he will say
"Jeezuschristsuperfuckinfly".He's an old
school type punk rocker guy.Maybe this
is where he got it??? Great name though
and congrats on becoming part of slangs
always changing vernacular.
13 - Rodney Welch
Here's something I wrote about Simon of the Desert in an old article on Luis Bunuel.
Bunuel learned from his years in Mexico to make the best of a minuscule budget. In 1964, he put the lesson to use again, while shooting Simon of the Desert. When the film ran out of money, Bunuel shaped it into a brilliant 40-minute parable.
St. Simon of Stylites was an actual second-century saint who spent some 37 years on a tower. In Bunuel's film, he spends his life praying, performing miracles for the folks below, and fending off the temptations of a curvaceous Satan (Silvia Pinal, from Viridiana and The Exterminating Angel), who tries, so to speak, to bring him back down to earth. She finally yanks him from his medieval roost and takes him to the end of the world: a 20th Century New York discotheque, where teenagers dance away as the world hurls into a nuclear holocaust.
In the world according to Bunuel, a self-destructive society only makes saintliness insignificant.
I would have said more -- but it was one of those cases where I was working in a very tight space. But it truly is a one-of-a-kind film. At forty minutes, you can schedule it in comfortably with Un Chien Andalou, (15 minutes)and Las Hurdes, (about 30 minutes or so) for an engaging Surrealist triple-bill that takes in the scope of Bunuel's career. Up for more? See if you can locate L'Age d'Or (one hour).
14 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Rodney, thanks for the info. that sounds like a film The Duke needs to be investigating. Plus, that marathon Bunuel fest sounds like just about the best nights entertainment since, i dunno, the last Popular Idol final or whatever.
Rick, best of luck with the punk rocking and so on, and that right there is one of the best band names i've heard. I used to be in one called Julian's Boyfriend which, i feel, is at least 78% better as a band name than, say, The Rolling Stones.
HW, that friend sounds like the kinda fella a man would like to share a cigarette with.
15 - Caitlin Davis
I am writing to Lindsay Lohan I really think she should belive in JESUS CHRIST!
16 - NR Davis
Why do you assume that the actor/singer does not believe in your savior?