Jake Gyllenhaal took home two well-deserved MTV Movie awards Saturday, June 3rd, 2006 – one for “Best movie kiss,” which he shared with Heath Ledger, and the other for “Best Performance.”
Based on the movie and Annie Proulx’s story, the scene played out like this:
The day was hot and clear in the morning, but by noon the clouds had pushed up out of the west, rolling a little sultry air before them. Ennis, wearing his best shirt, and clean jeans, had taken the day off, pacing with a beer back and forth, looking down into a pale with dust rear parking lot from his second floor window. Alma was saying something about taking his friend to the Knife and Fork for supper instead of cooking, it was so hot, if they could get a babysitter. But Ennis said more than likely he'd just go out with Jack and get drunk and that Jack wasn't a restaurant type.
Nervous with anticipation, Ennis sat at the window playing with his lighter and chain-smoking, knowing, but not knowing why he wished Jack would hurry and arrive. Alma busied herself feeding the kids, trying to figure out what Ennis was so anxious about. She'd never seen her normally stoic husband act like this about anybody. Late in the afternoon, thunder growling, a new red and white Ford pickup rolled in and he saw Jack get out of it. A hot jolt scalded Ennis and he was out on the landing pulling the door closed behind him.
Jack looked up at him, grinning from ear to ear.
Ennis just glowed with joy. From the top of the landing he gushed out, "Jack Fucking Twist!" and bounded down the steps two at a time as Jack met him halfway across the lot in front of the girls' new swing set.
They seized each other by the shoulders, hugged mightily, squeezing the breath out of each other, saying, "Son of a bitch, son of a bitch." Ennis nervously looked around, weary of who might see, and grabbed him, pushing him backwards ten feet, throwing him against the back wall of the Laundromat at the foot of the neighbor's stairs, within a little hidden staircase, at the foot of their own leading up in the opposite direction. As easily as the right key turns the lock tumblers, their mouths came together and hard, Jack's teeth bringing blood, his hat falling to the ground, stubble rasping, wet saliva welling.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Jet in Columbus
My thanks to Diana Hartman for her help, we had to fight the wild software, but she did it and I'm gratefull!
2 - chantal stone
Wow! ....Jet, your description was just as HOT as the movie.....hotter even, damn!
3 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks Chantal, you might say I know my subject.
Solus mei sententia
Jet
4 - Jet in Columbus
P.S. Diana and I fought into the morning with this and I had to do a sudden rewrite at 5 AM... sorry about all the commas-I was half asleep!
5 - Jet in Columbus
For my full review of the DVD click here
6 - Jet in Columbus
Chantal, after A blind friend of mine asked me to describe Jack and Ennis' very first real kiss which actually didn't happen till that second night, I didn't realize that he'd recorded me narrating it, and I was so surprised that I wrote it down, and then novelized Annie's whole short story for him so he could "see" the movie.
This is how I described it. I should warn you it gets slightly graphic but not enough to offend if you've seen the movie...
Unable to find the right words, neither spoke, and as wolves and owls called out into the night, Twist finally gave up and crawled into the camp tent muttering, “G’night”, sort of hoping Ennis would follow.
When nothing happened, he peeked outside as Ennis walked slowly over to his horse, mounted it and rode away into the darkness. Then, he bowed his head and a tear dropped from his eye. He pulled his shirt off and was just preparing to bed down for the night, when from outside, twigs snapped.
A bear or a wolf attracted by the smell of food?
He sat up and saw Ennis dismount, walk towards the tent, but stop in his tracks at the fire, as though changing his mind.
Jack lay back down, shivering from the evening cold or from anticipation; he wasn’t sure which, but waiting to see what would happen. When nothing did, he sat up and peered out through the flaps.
Ennis sat down on the log, staring like a lost puppy into the flickering embers for what seemed like forever, sometimes looking over at the tent flap, causing Jack to duck out of sight, sometimes just shaking his head as if he were really sad. He looked off toward the hillsides where he had a responsibility to be with the sheep, and then at the tent, then back toward the herd. Suddenly the loneliness and the night’s cold got the better of him and he felt himself drawn to Jack, and the feelings within himself that he couldn’t understand. He closed his eyes and bowed his head in surrender, cursing under his breath.
Jack almost jumped up to comfort him when Ennis suddenly stood, as if making a decision, and then slowly advanced on the tent.
With his hat meekly in his hand in respect, he parted the flaps, and was startled to meet Jack’s eyes right in front of him.
Jack drew closer, but hesitated with a lost look, and without a word their eyes locked, and they both knew the “one shot deal” had been canceled. Ennis didn’t know what to do, as Jack reached out and took his hat, tossing it aside. Jack only knew that he wanted to do it again, only this time with feeling.
Ennis’ pent-up emotions began to spill out and his fear caused him to draw away and try to back out of the tent. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry that I… I’m so sorry, Jack.”
Jack grabbed his forearm and held it, keeping him from chickening out, tenderly whispering, “It’s alright, it’s alright” as Ennis’ eyes seemed to glaze over with want.
With each repeated “It’s alright,” that followed, something inside both of them began to heal, and without voicing it, they gave each other permission to explore forbidden thoughts.
With shuddering hands they embraced, knowing that the unfeeling animal sex they’d had last night was the only thing that was “a one shot deal.” As their lips met for the first time, hesitant at first, they became locked in breathless passion.
Ennis couldn’t stop whispering that he was sorry, and suddenly drew back again, scared of the feeling he couldn’t understand and feared, as it came welling up inside himself, but as Jack pulled away unsure that he’d mistaken this man’s intentions, Ennis drew him to himself, and Jack’s trembling hands finished pulling his new lover’s clothes off as their lips relocked in a fiery kiss…
Jack pushed him onto his back beside him, and Ennis’ head fell onto his left shoulder. Letting his fears go completely, del Mar began caressing Jack’s bare chest, then his fingers strayed to his neck and then his chin. Jack rolled over on top of Ennis, who was still shaking from pent up emotions, and as their lips met again, Jack kissed him, as no one had ever been kissed before. Ennis began exploring Jack’s body again, and soon they were making love, not just sex, it was love, as undeclared as it was deep, leaving them convinced that they’d never before felt this way about anyone else.
It was like falling for your first love all over again.
7 - chantal stone
wheww!!....again, almost better than that movie itself!
and just so you know, Jet, I'm not easily offended. My tender ears and eyes have seen (and done!?!?) much much worse! ;)
8 - Jet in Columbus
I'm glad you liked it, frankly you weren't the one I was worried would be offended, but since I got it past the comments editor, I'll breath a sigh of relief.
I'm glad to have you as a friend
Jet
9 - samantha
hello this is samantha kone im 14 and i love this movie
10 - Jet in Columbus
Why hello there Samantha age 14-considering the subject matter of this movie you should be ashamed of yourself, and considering your URL is a fake, I'd say your a 45 year old male detective from Akron Ohio trolling for a child predator to lure into your den.
you won't find one here sweetie, but goodluck elsewhere!
11 - Jet in Columbus
Samantha #9 sounds awfully familiar, like I've seen it before, can anyone trace the IP because I have a sneaking suspicion of who the troublemaker probably is? Or maybe she's a b5 fan here by mistake, but I doubt it...
12 - Silas Kain
Jet,
I read, reread and absorbed what you wrote. It was beautiful and very true to the story in every way. Every time I see this movie or read the story, I am moved by how natural the whole relationship really was and in that light it makes me profoundly sad that so many people will never experience the love Ennis and Jack shared.
13 - Jet in Columbus
Thank you Silas-I hope you didn't miss my continuance on Comment 6. I added quite a bit of narration in my version and some details to explain some of the mysteries, but I can't print it for being worried of being sued.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Jet
14 - Jet in Columbus
By the way my novelization of her short story based on the movie is 51 pages long and it took me almost as long as the movie lasted to read it to him.
A friend of ours is typing it up for him in braile.
15 - Silas Kain
Jet, I just want to thank you. I don't have as much time as I used to to get over here but I make a point of searching for your works. You are a credit to the community and for what it's worth you have my undying respect and gratitude.
16 - just because
Hi,
Great descriptions. Have you posted your novelization of the movie anywhere? I would so love to read it.
jb
17 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks Silas, that means a lot to me.
Solus mei sententia
Jet
18 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks "Just Because" Here's another "taste" of my novelization. I'd love to post the whole thing, but there's this little thing called a copywrite law, and i'm worried about it.
Tell you what, here's a taste of a scene that heightens the drama between their first and 2nd time...
Parting the tent flaps, he realized it was the next morning, and silently pulled his pants back up from his thighs and buckled the belt, then slipped out of the tent, feeling like an escaping rapist who’d fallen asleep with his victim and was fleeing before he was discovered.
Jack crawled out a few minutes later, dressed to his hat and without even exchanging glances; he stood silently at the tent flaps, tucking his shirt in.
The loud clack of the rifle as Ennis checked his ammo brought Jack out of his thoughts.
Twist started striding towards del Mar’s back as he shoved the rifle into its sheathe on the saddle and mounted.
As much of a question as a comment, Jack said softly, “See ya for supper.”
Ennis spurred his horse, and took off toward the herd without a word, and barely a glance back.
They both suffered through the morning, each in his own way.
In Ennis’ case, he rode quietly, deep in tormented thought. Jack would never, could never forgive being raped last night. How would Ennis ever be able to face him again? Del Mar fought a stinging, welling up in his eyes, because he’d done something horrific to a man he’d considered his friend, and now he’d have an enemy for the next couple of months.
What if Jack rode down the mountain and reported him to the sheriff while he was up here tending the sheep?
He’d be arrested, ruined, maybe lynched. His marriage plans to Alma would be destroyed.
What had he done? Why had he done it? Had he started it, dreaming of Alma, and in his slumber blindly used Jack to replace her; then when he woke up he’d gone too far to stop? It was something he never even considered before… something he’d been thoroughly taught was evil, and that he’d go to hell for. If anyone found out, they’d kill him, just like his father killed them two queers that were ranched up together when he was a boy.
That kind of “thing” was like a cancer, his father taught him, that had to be cut out before it spread. They would’ve shot them two fags like rabid dogs, but what was needed was a more horrific death, in order to teach everyone a lesson, so he and his friends followed long-tradition and beat them both to death with tire irons, and left their bloodied and battered corpses where everyone could see them; one tied to a fence on the main road to bleed to death, the other in an irrigation ditch not far away.
Ennis suffered an uncontrollable shudder just thinking about it.
No, he couldn’t be one of those, he just couldn’t be!
For the whole ride up the rocky trail, he could think of nothing else, and tried to figure out a way to apologize to Jack, but the words wouldn’t come.
His mind kept wandering back to how good it felt, so natural, so… right, to hold Jack in his arms. Something wasn’t right about the whole thing though; it was almost as if Twist had enjoyed being fucked.
As he cleared the crest of a hill overlooking the herd, he heard a dog crying…
Jack watched him ride away.
Did he really get Ennis drunk on purpose and then seduce him?
Why?
All Jack knew was that it felt right, but it wasn’t, was not anything he’d ever even considered doing. Clearly Ennis blamed him for it. Jack had worked so hard to get Ennis’ friendship, and now it was all in ashes. Del Mar wouldn’t even speak to him when he rode off.
Jack tried to distract himself by setting out some ingredients for that night’s meal, which he’d long before planned special. He opened a few cans, added some water and spices, and lowered the lid over the cast iron kettle, moving it slightly off the fire to cook slowly through the afternoon, like he’d seen his mother do many times.
One thing was for sure, this would have to be resolved, or the next couple of months would be unbearable.
This couldn’t wait until supper.
His ass was burning and itching something awful, and he lowered his jeans to the acrid smell of shit. He undressed completely, and took a couple bars of Ivory soap to the stream, dragging the bedroll with him. Naked, he first washed himself, then used a stick to rub the shit out of the seat of his pants, rubbed the soap all over them, and the sleeping bag, later hanging them over a makeshift tripod above the cook fire to dry.
His mind kept straying back to how good it felt to have Ennis’ arms around him, and how little the fucking had hurt; amazed that after a few seconds, it actually began to feel damned good, as if his life centered around a spot just behind his pubic hair. Despite the number of girls he’d fucked, and there were many, he’d never felt that sensation before, and like a potent drug, he wanted, no-needed, no-craved it again.
Standing there naked, his eyes wandered to the flock up above and to the right, but he couldn’t see Ennis up there.
He didn’t know how he felt, much less how Ennis felt, because he’d never been taught words that described what he was going through, but this was a bull that had to be ridden now or never.
Lifting the kettle, he stirred his concoction again and was amazed at how good it smelled.
He pulled on his clothes, now smelling fresh of soap, and came up with an excuse to ride up to see him.
Jack packed up a couple of bacon and egg sandwiches and a thermos of hot coffee in his saddle bag, to replace Ennis’ missed breakfast, mounted the mare, and took off toward the high pasture.
He’d figure out what to say on the way up there…
Glancing around quickly, Ennis spotted the young dog, whining next to a nearly hollowed out and bloody corpse of one of the lambs.
Spurring Cigar Butt, he rode as fast as he could down to the herd in case the wolf was still there.
He spent most of the afternoon tracking down the son of a bitch by the blood trail, killed it, and strung it up by it’s feet on a tall pole to warn off anything else that came near.
For the next hour he sat with the herd, not understanding why the death of that poor lamb hit him so hard, until he realized it wasn’t that; it was how he felt about Jack that was tearing him apart.
One of the dogs came over and appeared to try to comfort him, whining and licking his face, and Ennis stroked his head and fell into a deep dark brooding.
Sometime later, while Ennis was still deep in thought, the dog jerked his head, and Ennis glanced up on the hillside to see what had caught its attention.
In the cloudy sky stood the silhouette of Jack Twist, carrying his rifle.
It was a very rare occasion when Ennis felt scared… this was one of them.
At this range, considering what he’d seen of Jack’s rifle skills, he knew that even if he tried, he’d never hit him.
If the roles were reversed and Jack had raped him, would he go gunning for him?
He nodded to himself that he probably would’ve, and then walked over to his horse and pulled his rifle out.
Then he decided instead of riding up the hill, he’d walk to his friend, and maybe take what was coming to him, what he thought he deserved.
Better by Jack’s hand than end up in some drainage ditch after torture and a lynching…
Del Mar strode straight up the steep grassy hill, never letting Twist out of his sight.
Halfway there Jack put his rifle down, making sure del Mar saw him do it, and lay on his side facing away from Ennis’ advancing figure, surrounded by sheep on all sides, bleating, grazing and sleeping.
Jack heard the grass rustle under foot and looked up at him, as Ennis came up close, passed his feet by three paces to stand in front of him facing away, presenting his back as a sacrificial offered target.
Just for one fearful moment, Jack thought that Ennis had brought the rifle to shoot him. Mysteriously, the ranch hand only stood there, holding the gun, but not in a way that he was about to fire it.
Ennis thought he heard Jack let out an anxious breath, as if he’d been holding it for a long time, and wondered what that meant.
Without knowing it, both thought the other were out for revenge, neither knowing how wrong they were.
Just for one brutal moment, Ennis closed his eyes, waiting for Jack to reach for the rifle just out of his reach, and put a bullet that del Mar thought he deserved into his back. He never looked back and down at Jack, but seemed to exhale a sigh of relief for some reason when all he heard was silence and the bleating of sheep.
Somewhere in the distance a hawk cried out.
They remained there in limbo, silent for a long time, not knowing what to say to each other, both watching the brown ocean of wool flow down below them.
Without taking his eyes off the sheep, finally Ennis crouched down on his haunches. He meant to promise that it’d never happen again, and to beg his friend’s forgiveness and silence. He’d rehearsed it all the way up the mountain, but the words wouldn’t come out right so he settled for saying, “This is a one-shot thing we got going here,” without looking back to see Jack’s reaction.
Jack looked up at Ennis’ back from where he lay and sadly answered, “Nobody’s business but ours.”
Both were still tense, but relieved that the other seemed to have forgiven the one to blame.
“You know I’m not queer,” mumbled Ennis carefully, knowing it needed to be said, lest Jack think differently.
“Me neither.”
They sat like that, not speaking for about half an hour.
Finally, unable to stand it anymore, Jack got up, began striding toward his horse, and asked, “You hungry?”
Del Mar only nodded.
Twist reached for the sandwiches he’d transferred to his pocket, and then changed his mind. “Come on, then.”
The ride down to camp was made in complete silence. They rode side by side, each adjusting their speed to keep exact pace with each other, only pausing to detour around a tree or a boulder.
Jack rebuilt a larger campfire than usual, and surprised Ennis with some hunter’s stew he’d made with meat scraps, a can of tomatoes and one of peas, potatoes he’d peeled earlier and some carrots chopped into big chunks, and some supplies and spices they’d never asked for earlier, and hadn’t used.
Though Ennis wordlessly made sure Jack knew that he enjoyed the meal and appreciated the effort by eating a couple servings and mmmmmming a lot, he uttered not one single sound, which worried Twist.
Needlessly though, for the ranch hand was still convinced that Jack hated him for raping him last night, but was too embarrassed to report it to the sheriff or Aguirre, probably for fear of what people would say.
On the other hand, poor Jack still thought Ennis hated him for trying to turn him into a faggot or something.
Unable to find the right words, neither spoke, and as wolves and owls called out into the night, Twist finally gave up and crawled into the camp tent muttering, “G’night”, sort of hoping Ennis would follow.
When nothing happened, he peeked outside as Ennis walked slowly over to his horse, mounted it and rode away into the darkness. Then, he bowed his head and a tear dropped from his eye. He pulled his shirt off and was just preparing to bed down for the night, when from outside, twigs snapped.
A bear or a wolf attracted by the smell of food?
19 - Jet in Columbus
The above novelization is based on Annie's work, I just embellished and enhanced it. With love Jet.
20 - chantal stone
That was great Jet, it never occurred to me that Ennis may have felt like he raped or took advantage of Jack, what an interesting perspective. I always assumed he was just beating himself over his strong desire and love for another man, something he didn't even know he could feel, and was having trouble reconciling.
Now I'm going to have to watch the movie AGAIN, with this new perspective in mind.
21 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks Chantal, it'll hit you hard when you see Jack beating his clothes naked by the stream and understand why he's doing it.
None of that's in the movie or Annie's short story, I just dreamed it up to explain the mysteries to my blind friend.
Love...
22 - Silas Kain
Damn, Jet. I like this characterization. There are so many ways of looking at Ennis and Jack and now you've opened the door yet to another possibility. If people only knew how many men have fallen in love out on the prairies of America, they'd be amazed. We've taken a wonderful word like love and have reduced it to be akin to any other four letter word. How sad.
23 - Jet in Columbus
I wish I could get permission to have my version published, but alas, it is someone else's work after all and I'd hate for someone to screw with the novel I'm working on called "System 10"
I'm glad you liked it. It's just my thoughts about what was running through Ennis' head when it happened. You should read when he visits Jack's parents at the end!
24 - just because
Thanks for posting more Jet. It makes an awesome read. The copyright thing is tricky but then I read lots of fan fiction/slash & so far BBM fan fic has not attracted any controversy. I was wary of BBM fan fic at first but it helped soothe some of the movie-induced pain & also gave a new perspective on some aspects of the story. Now I can't get enough of reading about J & E & their love.
I guess yours is not a true fan fic, although there are plenty of one-parter fics that do "fill in the blanks". I hadn't thought about blind people wanting to hear the story. I know there is an audiobook of A Proux's short story but the movie version is, how shall I put it, juicier! Then of course there is the whole seemingly endless debate about story vs movie...
If you are of a mind to, there are a couple of great sites to post BBM fan fic to that would be receptive to your work. Otherwise, maybe post another snippet sometime *please*
I hope there's not a limit on the size of these comments. Ooops.
jb
25 - Jet in Columbus
Okay one more snippet, but I've got to get to the drug store for supplies-eye surgery tomorrow...
Two days later Ennis woke in his little pup tent with a start, to find his feet freezing cold. He stumbled shivering out in confusion to discover everything was covered in white after the first snow came early, piling up a foot in places, but was followed by a quick melt.
He rode down the mountain to camp, only to find Jack undoing the straps on the tent frame, as he spotted the food, and their supplies all packed in boxes ready to be piled onto the mules.
“What the hell? Why are we movin’ camp?”
Jack looked over and said, “Aguirre came back up, told me my uncle lived after all, and said to bring them down.”
“What? Why?”
“He said an even bigger storm is coming in off the Pacific, and he wants them down fast.”
“What, but, uh, that snow only lasted an hour!” he objected. “Besides, he’s cheatin’ us out of a whole month’s pay!”
Still busy folding the big tent, Jack considered a moment and said, “Well, if you’re short, I can lend you some as soon as we get paid in Signal, be glad to do it. You can take your time payin’ it back.”
Ennis’ pride took hold and he answered angrily, “I ain’t in the poor house; I don’t need your money.”
Jack watched him kick at some unmelted snow in a spray of white, and then stride to a nearby tree stump. Sitting down upset, he grabbed an unused fire log, dug around in the dirt a moment, and then absently tossed it aside.
Ennis looked around and saw that everything had already been packed, and except for loading it all, they were ready to leave.
But he wasn’t.
His chest tightened as he realized why he was so upset; in a day, he’d probably never see Jack again.
He thought he’d prepared himself for their coming separation, but not for a month or so, not in a few days-hours!
Jack watched his friend turn and walk slowly out about a hundred yards into the meadow, and then sit down in a crouch, within the wet high grass on the top of a knoll, tucking his head to his knees as his arms surrounded them, the tan cowboy hat hiding his face.
Ennis had pretended this was all a dream, because he knew it would have to end sooner instead of later. But like a really good dream, he woke up from it before he wanted to, and longed to go back to sleep to be back in it. He knew that when he “woke” he’d have to be normal again, marry Alma, and forget all about Jack.
As long as he was up here, he could be himself.
He hadn’t prepared himself to face the fact he’d given his heart away on Brokeback Mountain.
Half an hour later, having finished packing the camp up by himself, Jack felt it too.
With one last tug on the ropes, and a look to see that the pack animals weren’t going anywhere, he scanned the clearing to find Ennis still sitting there.
He reached up to his saddle and grabbed his lasso, heading toward his friend.
About ten yards from him, Jack began twirling the rope over his head, neatly landing it around Ennis’ back and knees where he sat.
The wind was picking up, and smelled of snow, pine and wet wild grasses.
With a gentle tug on the rope, he softly said reluctantly, “Time to go, Cowboy.”
Del Mar stood up, pulled the lasso off over his head, brushed himself off, and gave Jack a silent nod, walking ahead of him town the hill.
Jack smiled and swung the rope again, this time catching Ennis’ feet, causing him to fall.
Jack giggled and jumped atop of him, meaning to give him a kiss goodbye, but Ennis struggled away and laughingly warned, “This ain’t no rodeo, you,” and began mock fighting him, like a calf that didn’t want to be roped and tied.
With peals of laughter and grunts, they both rolled down the hill, side by side in each other’s arms struggling playfully.
Then something happened, and Ennis flipped a switch in his head, maybe because he was thinking of Alma, and he started fighting for real, circling Jack’s neck with his strong hands.
Something inside of him thought if he killed Jack, he’d kill the hurt of the coming separation and painlessly destroy the feelings he had for him.
Surprised, Jack fought back, and accidentally butted Ennis’ face with his knee.
Del Mar stopped abruptly and stood up, wiping gushing blood from his nose on his white plaid shirtsleeve and cuff. The blow had cleared his head, and he stood dazed wondering what he was thinking.
Aghast at what he’d done, Jack jumped up, pulled him close and started wiping his nose with the sleeve of his denim shirt.
Suddenly rage and confusion welled up in Ennis at acting queer for the last few weeks. Without warning, he flattened Jack with a left hook, laying him out all curled up and moaning on the ground clutching his head.
Fearful of another blow, Jack finally looked up to see Ennis staggering to their horses, peeling off his shirt, wiping his nose with it, and searching for his spare, jamming the bloody one in his saddlebag.
Jack came carefully over, and just as he reached out for his friend, Ennis backed away from him and muttered, “Gotta piss,” and took off toward the woods while Twist waited by the horses.
When he returned, Ennis stood transfixed looking at his blood all over Jack’s denim shirtsleeve.
A moment later, they rode off silently.
They didn’t utter a word the whole ride down. The mountain boiled with demonic energy from the sudden snowmelt, glazed with flickering broken gray cloud light; the wind combed the grass and swayed the tall pines, moaning through slit rock in a bestial drone.
As they descended the slope Ennis felt that he was in a slow motion, but headlong, irreversible fall, like an angel who’d been banished from heaven, or a child who’d been punished for a crime he didn’t commit.
Jack kept rubbing the deep bruise on his left cheek next to his eye that hurt like hell.
Ennis withdrew further into himself, becoming the stoic and nearly wordless man he was before.
Jack watched it happen, helpless to do anything about it.
Both men hid the heartbreak they felt.
At the trailhead, it began raining as Jack and Ennis waited at a split-rail fence. Jack bowed his head and sniffed, knowing the rain disguised the tears running down his cheeks.
The distant foreman kept giving them pissed-off looks as he supervised the herders loading the sheep, mules and horses into trucks.
Eventually he walked over with a sheaf of paper in his hand and a sour expression. “Some of these sheep never went up there with you. The count ain’t what I expected neither. You damned ranch stiffs ain’t never no good.”
Both young men bowed their heads and looked away.
Joe Aguirre handed them both envelopes with cash in them and walked off toward his Rambler muttering something under his breath that sounded like “fuckin’ queers”.
Twist and del Mar turned to move toward him, expecting a ride back to the trailer and Jack’s truck, but he started it up and drove away before they reached it.
They hitched a ride back into Signal with the Chilean herder, and Ennis turned to head toward the highway to thumb a ride home. He’d thought of asking Jack for one, but needed to cut the ties fast.
A sharp knife cuts the cleanest and hurts the least.
They parted without a word, but Ennis had gotten only fifteen feet when he heard the grinding of Jack’s starter.
Then he heard it again, and again.
Reversing course, he silently strode up to the truck, reached in the front of it and opened the hood. “Pump the peddle.”
After fiddling a moment he shouted, “Okay, try again, and give it just a little gas!”
The starter grinded, and then caught immediately, the truck roaring in a cloud of smoke.
Ennis slammed the hood closed, and when Jack jumped out to thank him, found del Mar searching absently through his paper bag. “I can’t believe I left that damned shirt up there. Oh well, I’d never have gotten the blood out of it anyways.”
Ennis looked up to find Jack nodding, “Yeah,” and then looked away.
“You gonna do this again next summer?” asked Jack with a hopeful tone, interrupting Ennis’ continued search, one leg already up in his old pickup, his armed propped over the top of the open door.
The wind was gusting hard and cold.
He looked away from Jack’s jaw; bruised blue from the hard punch Ennis had landed this morning, unable to settle his eyes on it for more than a second. He kept looking down, absently rummaging through his bag. “Oh, Maybe not,” he answered finally.
A dust plume rose and hazed the air with fine grit and Ennis squinted against it. “Like I said, Alma and me’s gettin married in November, so uh, I’ll try to get somethin on a ranch I guess. You?”
“I’m going up to my daddy’s place, and give him a hand through the winter… I might be back, if the army don’t get me.”
Ennis nodded nervously a lot, and finally said, “Well, I guess I’ll see you around, Huh?”
The wind tumbled an empty feedbag down the street until it fetched up under the truck.
Ennis felt his heart welling up in his throat, and he decided to cut and run, and just as quickly, there was forty feet of distance between them.
Nothing for Jack to do but drive away, and as he passed Ennis on foot he looked back through the truck’s mirror, till he turned the corner.
Within fifty paces Ennis felt like someone was pulling his guts out hand over hand a yard at a time. He stumbled to his knees between two utility shacks, and tried to puke, but nothing came up. He didn’t want it to end with Jack, but couldn’t admit it to himself or face it either, so he did what any man would do; he began punching the wall of the building until the pain took away his unwanted thoughts. He felt about as bad as he ever had.
The throbbing in his knuckles was so intense he began sobbing.
Deep inside himself he knew why he cried, but the man in him blamed it on his sore knuckles.
A cowboy on foot came up on him and paused to see if he could help.
“What the fuck are you looking at?” he yelled ferociously, and the man retreated, figuring he was drunk.
Ennis collapsed against the wall and bawled like a little baby…