I want to be Jason Bourne. I want a sniper rifle and the ability to dropkick a bad guy in less than fifteen seconds and to kill them with no more than a ballpoint pen. A ballpoint pen! Imagine the possibilities this leaves open for life at the office. The supply cupboard takes on a whole new meaning. I want to be the good guy (which in reality, I truly am) – and I want to be able to exact my revenge (oooh I used the R word), on anyone who should screw with me because I’m tired of being subordinate to the system, to politics, to workplace b.s., to societal nonsense. I’m just tired. Tired, tired, tired and bored. As Evan Dando would say, Baby, I’m bored.
I want to be in that opening scene in which Jason Bourne climbs his way to the top rung of the building and have my little orange sack filled with thousands of Euro, watch as it drops to the snow. I want to cleverly (and without bodily harm) drop down and hitch a ride in a Mini (or in my case, get into my own British Racing Green Mini (which I love and adore) that would sit there idling patiently waiting for me and my money to drop so that we can speed off into the dawn or the sunset or whatever and never look back, leaving Treadstone in our dust.
Oh sure, it means a life on the run, but isn’t everybody’s life a life on the run? Aren’t we all running from something? Our past, the present, work, general politics, family obligations, the ickiness of life as I’ll call it because there is always something or someone pursuing us and while most of these threats are benign, there are those which are not – the very real threat of rape, of murders and home invasions, or terrorism, volcanoes ready to blow, as a friend upliftingly informed me just today.
I want to take every nasty, underhanded person whose path I have sadly crossed and I want to bring them to their knees (okay, perhaps I wouldn’t do this but the feeling is normal and is there) and I want to make them eat their words and shame them until they know what it feels like to have been me To have felt used and to have suffered their melodrama and more.