Once again, the combined talents of Cuba Gooding, Jr. and crap have joined forces to bring us another direct-to-video wonder. Tonight on the “Cuba Gooding, Jr. Movie of the Weak,” we have The Hit List: the story of a dying government assassin named Jonas (Gooding) who meets Allan Campbell (Cole Hauser, son of the great Wings Hauser), a cowardly engineer in Spokane, Washington and decides to help the poor guy grow a pair.
Their unlikely friendship starts off like many great friendships do: the suffering hitman asks his newfound acquaintance to jot down the names of the five people in life that are presently making his existence a living hell. Jonas then proceeds to murder the individuals one by one; starting with Allan’s own boss, and moving his way up the list to Allan’s unfaithful wife.
But, seeing as how Jonas isn’t worried about keeping a low profile while he gallivants about and snuffs folks out, the local authorities (led by Anthony La Paglia’s brother, Jonathan) take note of the excessive levels of dead bodies piling up — particularly as Jonas takes great glee in rubbing out several police officers who get in his way. In the meantime, our gutless hero discovers that his bitchy, betraying bride isn’t really that bad of a gal, especially when her life is on the line. And it all ends with a grand shootout as Cuba goes all Terminator and infiltrates the police department in order to fulfill his twisted promise.
But The Terminator isn’t the only movie that The Hit List manages to rip-off. Chad and Evan Law’s screenplay also (very noticeably) borrows heavily from Collateral, throwing in a fair amount of other hitman dramas, such as The Contract (2002). Hell, the opening credits even manage to successfully imitate those of Casino Royale (2006), complete with flashy graphics and a kinda-catchy rock song.
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