It would be awfully glib to make a comment on The Five-Year Engagement saying that the movie certainly feels like it takes that long or if only they had never bothered to get engaged we wouldn't have to watch or why didn't they get married more quickly so as to shorten the film. All of those hint at the truth, but none are quite the right way of saying that the Nicholas Stoller comedy starring Jason Segel and Emily Blunt is just too dull to sustain its more than two-hour runtime.
The film, written by Segel and Stoller, follows Tom Solomon (Segel) and his relationship with Violet Barnes (Emily Blunt). The two, in the opening moments of the film, get engaged but when Violet has to take a job outside of San Francisco, which is where the couple lives, they decide to put their engagement on hold.
Now, there's the first problem with the film – they fail to establish any compelling reason whatsoever for the couple to delay marriage for a few years simply because they're moving elsewhere. They have no intention of being apart during this time, but they're just not ready to get married if they can't do it in the state in which they have been residing. Sure, sure, they could come back for the wedding and do return on visits after leaving, but the film is unconcerned with the facts behind the matter. Because they're leaving San Francisco, and because that means that Tom has to leave his job behind, they're going to put off the marriage.
Part of the problem with all of this is that it's simply a bad title. It gives away where the film is heading, and does so poorly. When the inevitable break up comes before the couple hits five years of engagement, it's that much more obvious that they're going to be getting back together. But, even taking that away, there isn’t much to like in the film.