Alien 2 gets off to a slow start as we are greeted with a whole mess of stock footage. This footage is used to set up a space module plummeting back to Earth, and we are meant to believe this is the source of the alien threat (and presumably from the Nostromo if one is to actually believe this is a sequel to Alien despite it being set hundreds of years in the future). In any case the scene shifts to a couple as they take a leisurely drive from their home to a TV studio (set in a movie theater), where the actress apparently forgets her lines (otherwise we are meant to believe she has visions of monsters).
The woman and her boyfriend head to the river to meet a man on a boat before ultimately meeting up with the rest of their team at a bowling alley (yes, a bowling alley). Oh yes, I forgot to mention, they are cave diving scientists about to head into the deep. On the way to the cave they stop and find a mysterious looking rock, so naturally they put it in their bag and carry on.
Do you see where this is going? If you said "an alien attack on the group once in the cave from something in the rock," you'd be right. The attacks lead to some decent gore effects and a continued lack of genuine suspense or an actual script. The leaps of logic, or lack thereof, are mind boggling. I mean, they are scientists, right? If you remember that fact, pair it with their reaction after the realization of the alien attack. It makes no sense. Then there is the final moments of the film that prove they either ran out of money or just had no idea how to end it.
The acting is poor, the suspense is nonexistent, the screenplay appears made up on the spot, and the movie is awfully cheap looking. All of this sounds like reasons to avoid a movie. Most people probably should, but for those of you who are more like me, have at it. I found a lot to like, from the use of the stock footage to the crazy dialogue, from the blood to the alien anus-vision during the return to the bowling alley, from the poor performances to the weird use of music, the movie worked it's terrible charm on me.